Reality check, people: You have no idea whether or not your neurosurgeon has a tramp stamp! 

A foxy little fruit in the produce aisle was “just begging to be peeled” when approached by shoppers on Tuesday.

In addition to the weekly Market Wednesday festivities at FSU, the university will be holding a new event: the First Day on Earth Convention.

In an effort to make their events more “artist-friendly,” FSU’s Student Life Cinema (SLC) has announced its first-ever 26,280-Hour Film Festival

“WE AWE WEALLY SOWWY. WE DIDN’T EXPWECT STUDENTS TO BE SO FWEAKING MAD AT US. WAAAAAAAAAAAAH…”

“This has been a long time coming,” he declared to the FSU student body. “As you know, I’m already a proud father of one. But now, it’s time I introduce you to our brand new member of the family.”

“Oh yeah, good one, Facebook. None of us knew that the guy trying to sell us on the Metaverse was a robot in disguise. Nailed it,”

Studio executives eager to replicate Galaxy’s success were quick to greenlight another hit video game adaptation: Bloxorz, The Movie.