The Den Cuts Ties with Kanye West

By now even everyone with a satellite dish and a FaceBook account has been made aware of the dangerous antisemitic comments made by Kanye West in the past few weeks, that follow up on a lifetime of generally shitty behavior. Companies he’s collaborated with for years have started cutting him and his product lines off, causing his net worth to plummet to a measly $400 million dollars. So heartbreaking that he’s a poor now. And while there’s been a lot of focus on his Adidas partnership, many seem to be brushing off how his deal with Florida State’s least scary midnight breakfast spot, The Den, has reportedly fallen through in the wake of his team failing to put him in time out so he could think about what he did. 

“Man I was so excited to pull up stoned outta my mind and get that Ye Meal!” Said long-time Kanye supporter Jamie Parker, while rocking his Jesus Is King Crewneck and black Yeezy 450s. Drip or drown, Jamie. “Why is it so hard for the woke bicoastal elitist, liberal mob to separate the art from the artist?” Woah there, big dick alert! When asked if he had been in attendance at the Civic Center’s stop on Charlie Kirk’s TPUSA tour, he nodded to indicate a yes. “And with Twitter and Instagram banning him, Ye’s being silenced. It’s like no one cares about protecting free speech anymore.” You got that right Jamie, no one tolerates hate speech anymore. But I’m sure we’ll get to hear all about how his feefees have been hurt in his next clusterfuck of a record!

Here at the Eggplant, we don’t do bias. So here’s what FSU’s resident Swiftie, Daniella Hughes, has to say about the situation, “Yeah me and my sisters have been boycotting The Den anyway. Their food is nauseating and seriously why does their bathroom always smell like that? Their new special, the Ye Meal, looked even worse than the dog shit bad pet owners leave all over Landis. And yeah, cat’s outta the bag! Kanye West isn’t a good person. But I could’ve told you that years ago.” She proceeded to play Karma by Taylor Swift and explain to us how each line is so totally intentionally about Kanye getting what he deserves. 

While we can all recognize Kanye West has publicly struggled with his mental health more and more in the past two years, it’s really not fair of anyone to brush off his rhetoric as that of someone in crisis. This line of reasoning promotes the dangerous stereotypes people with BPD have to face daily and doesn’t take any of what he’s likely been saying behind closed doors seriously. In other news, it’s really considerate of his loyal fanbase to start a GoFundMe campaign and get Ye’s bag up all so that when the revolution begins, we can eat his billionaire ass first.