If you feel like we missed anything in this list, please feel free to write us an email that we will ignore.

With the annual deathmatch between the University of Florida and Florida State University looming over everyone's heads like the finals that will shortly subtract valuable years off of our sad, debt-filled lives, it’s clear that there is a rare sense of school spirit making its way through campus.

You’ve been lying to your relatives for months about all the internships you’ve applied to and the only company to ask for an interview is the Wild Birds Unlimited in your hometown.

Face it, it’s already the middle of the semester. Your faith in a higher power escaped the building the second you heard your professor invent a mandatory “teamwork-oriented” project in the last two seconds of class last week. Everything, and we do mean everything, has gone tits up on the Seminole Express.

Are you an aggressive libertarian? Are you looking to incorporate your perceived political martyrdom into your everyday life? Look no further! These 10 personal fragrances are sure to give you an extra pep in your self-indulgent freedom-fighting, gun-toting step.

This year’s H3N2 virus is a vaccine defying war horse.

Are you one of The Eggplant's devoted stans, tweeting "sjkdsjkdsjksd" and "delete this or you'll be hearing from my daddy and he’s a lawyer" after we publish an article?

Bitcoin and its cousins have an unstable future, but that doesn’t mean your intellectual superiority needs to suffer.

Happy New Year, Seminoles! We hope you survived your holiday celebrations, which most likely included at least 73 relatives asking about your post-graduation plans, an openly sexist cousin and increasingly upsetting questions about your romantic life.

We’ve all been there. Your group of besties from home who are really only besties because you need people to drink with on breaks decided to do a gift exchange and you had the misfortune of drawing the name of the person who always compliments your hair but once tripped you in the cafeteria in middle school.

"But of course, there is one UF graduate that has dedicated his political career to doing just that, amongst other unforgivable things such as denying the impact of humans on climate change and hating disco music.

The invention of pesto has been regarded throughout history as Italy’s crowning achievement, narrowly beating out other Italian achievements such as the first electric battery, the piano and the phrase “bada bing bada boom.”Only a very silly man would dare to criticize delicious pesto.

It may seem like the clothes you wore while The Sun peed golden sunshine all over you are goners but there’s actually a lot to be done with the sweat you wring out of ‘em Saturday night after you realize that there’s no fucking way you’re making it to Coliseum.