UFC Presents: Kanye West vs Pete Davidson
You either love him or hate him--Kanye West, also known as Ye or every Swiftie’s musical arch-nemesis. Besides making music for your toxic ex and a fashion empire your toxic ex coincidentally also wears, Mr. West is infamous for his long history of social media rants. Many remember him for tweets like “I’m nice at Ping Pong,” but more recently, from what seems like another standard meltdown, Kanye has now set his sights on Pete Davidson. Pete, who you might know as the SNL star and definition of “she let me hit cuz I’m goofy,” has come under fire by Kanye on social media after he stole his girl and everyone’s favorite Barbie, Kim Kardashian. After weeks of buildup, the stage has been set for the two stars to face off in one of America’s favorite pastimes: beating the shit out of each other in an all out UFC grudge match.
“Yeah he’s crazy and probably needs professional help and all but I don’t really care his music just hits different,” claimed a local male manipulator with a “J” name when asked about Kanye’s recent social media presence. Recently, Kanye has been posting frantically on Instagram, acting like some 15 year old running a borderline clickbait meme page account. “To be honest I’m just here for the ride,” added the manipulator. The culmination of Ye’s rants has focused on attacking Pete Davidson and has now garnered the attention of organizations like the UFC. Although Pete, or as Kanye is now affectionately referring to as “Skete” (whatever that means), has yet to publicly respond, we do know that he’s a man who will do anything for the bit. As a result, he’s agreed to literally fight out their differences in the ring for what is sure to be a sight to see.
“We know he’s crazy enough to do it, I’m just surprised at how quick and easy it was to organize the fight” claimed a UFC representative when questioned about the upcoming fight. “I mean just imagine an asthmatic tree branch and the guy who made that ‘harder better faster stronger’ song just wailing on each other, it’s incredible.” With the UFC announcing the fight, both combatants have now been through training, and one can only hope the fight can now at least be more professional than the shakycam iPhone ones in your old high school’s bathrooms.
Finally, the people get a high-profile internet beef that’s comparable to Dinkleberg vs Timmy Turner’s dad from The Fairly OddParents. One might think the demand for this fight is small, but this announcement is surprisingly big for annoying people all across the niches of the internet. The amount of normal and sane people who just want to see celebrities fight is surprisingly large and tickets are expected to sell out quickly. Ultimately, this story is about lost love and family, but is now a spiraling social media buzz we get to watch now!