Theme Parks Set to Now Offer “Florida Man VR Experience”
In an effort to cater to the growing demand for thrill-seeking experiences and Southern cultural immersion, theme parks across the country announce what they call the “Florida Man Virtual Reality Experience.” This one-of-a-kind VR journey allows theme park goers from all corners of America to briefly live in the bizarre world of an average Floridian man. With possibilities for chaos, participants can step into the shoes of an infamous demographic.
“We’ve noticed a trend,” said theme park spokesperson, Chatty M. Kathy, “Roller coasters have gotten too boring. With this new concept, participants can partake in adventures only possible with the lack of conscience these law-bending Florida residents have. Definitely more thrilling than your average Wild Adventures.” After a 30-minute sidebar, she went on to mention her favorite feature: “The goal is to have a full sensory overload, which is why there is an unholy combination of sounds played, including chirping cicadas, circling helicopters, and a mariachi band.” It honestly seems like the only thing they’re missing is the smell of sewage and bug spray seeping into the air. Regardless, these anxiety-inducing inclusions add a level of intensity intended to make the experience more realistic and impair the rider’s decision-making skills.
After trial runs of this VR attraction, some of the most popular story-lines users can experience were released:
Half-naked Florida Man High on Meth Breaks into Home, Runs Away With Resident’s Carpet Cleaner
Florida Man Dressed as Banana Charged for Whipping Out His Own “Banana”
Florida Man Arrested for Throwing Coconuts at Officers, Mistaking them for Captain Jack Sparrow’s Pirate Crew
Johnathan KissAss, a resident of Wisconsin, was one of the first to try out the attraction. “It seems with each outlandish experience, users can finally have answers to some very philosophical questions. Personally, I’ve always wondered what would happen if I ever attempted to rob a bank while using a live alligator as collateral. Thanks to the Florida Man VR Experience, I now know!” said Mr. KissAss.
What makes this ride so special, is that non-Floridians are finally able to partake in those wild fantasies the average conscience and sober nervous system would normally prevent them from doing. And the best part is there are no consequences! Definitely something that wouldn’t happen in our beloved Sunshine State. It’s destined to be a hit amongst would-be madmen and adrenaline junkies alike.