As America slips into the frothy darkness that some call the beginning of a dystopian Cormac McCarthy novel, pollsters are working tirelessly to capture the public’s reaction to the nation’s demise. 

The White House is now scrambling to find an answer to a breaking New York Times report on newly obtained documents showing what appears to be the crayon-drawn prototype for a catapult designed to launch undocumented immigrants into Mexico.

When Donald Trump issued an Executive Order placing a travel ban on several predominantly Muslim nations, the ACLU and justices across the nation put in hard hours to defend the liberties of citizens at home and abroad.

It appears the Trump administration is looking to deflect from the current Russian connection controversy by pushing its agenda forward in other areas.

The presidential brood of Donald Trump employs many skills. While Trump is in office, people are running his empire of exploitative mini-golf casinos and logging into his endless game of Sid Meier’s Civilization V every day to make sure Persia doesn’t get more silk than him.

They say actions speak louder than words! After a tweet from barely a year ago stating that a Muslim ban would be unconstitutional resurfaced from Pence’s personal account, Twitter users dragged the Queen of Contradiction for being a bigger hypocrite than his superior Donald Trump, who just last week signed an executive order to ban immigrants from several predominantly Muslim countries from entering the U.S.

Surrounded by her crew of fifty people hired to do nothing except bolster her image as a trophy wife, relatable First Lady Melania Trump posed for Vanity Fair Mexico alongside a bowl of lavish jewels entangled like spaghetti in her fork.

With just a few days before  the Presidential inauguration, many performers are either refusing to play during the event or backing out of their commitments.

It’s that time of year again! While Santa evades child labor laws by calling his workers ‘elves’ and half of America seemingly ignores the fact that not everyone celebrates Christmas, White House staffers are working hard to make what may be the country’s final joyous holiday season special for the first family. 

On Tuesday night, more than half of American voters were distraught by the results of the election when a misogynist, racist and generally hateful flesh sack of orange dye became the President elect.