8 Ways to Justify Spending All of November's Rent on Holiday-Scented Candles
November is officially in swing, and it’s getting harder to rationalize pushing back paying that already late rent. Maybe you really are just forgetful or maybe you woke up from a bender $300 poorer and dozens of candles wealthier. Assuming the latter (it’s always the latter), you’re now in the tight spot of not being able to afford groceries or a place to live. Luckily, you can use these tips and tricks to defend your horrible money management skills!
1. Holiday Scents Remind You of a Time When You Didn’t Want to Perish
Your mom really wants to see you home this winter break, which means you’re going to have to make it just a little bit longer without passing away. Bringing up the scents of baking cookies and taking a winter stroll will keep you from recognizing the impending doom of finals. It’s absolutely necessary to swap your Red Bull and Adderall scents for something a bit more calming.
2. They’ve Got Pretty Kooky Names, Right?
It doesn’t matter if the scent is named “Eggnoggin’ Santa’s Chestnuts” or a simple “Freshly Lit Menorah.” At the end of the day, it will have you turning to your friend saying “doesn’t this just feel better?” Let’s be real, we all know “Sleigh Ride” smells like dryer sheets. But, hey, it’s the thought that counts.
3. It’s Really FSU’s Fault
FSU routinely forces hundreds of undergrad students into dorm living with the rule that candles are contraband because apparently fire is bad. Clearly, FSU hasn’t felt the warmth and comfort of a candle on a rainy November day. You literally are not at fault for overcompensating after moving out to live on your own.
4. You Haven’t Looked at Your Bank Account Since August Anyway
It started off as you once forgetting to check, but after a while, it just became too scary to even try. Have you spent too much? How much is left? Do you even have a savings account or was your dad lying to you all along? It’s about time Bath & Body Works make a new candle named “Ignorance.”
5. Candles Are Sexy
6. Candles Cover Up the Scent of That Liter of Vodka You Spilled All Over the Floor
When you don’t own a mop, this is just about the next best thing. Sure, the floors are still sticky and there’s something mixed into the air that reminds you of this past weekend spent puking your guts up, but it’s certainly something!
7. Get Some Alone Time
So this wasn’t intentional, but how were you supposed to know that your roommate was allergic to mint? She never told you! All you did was light a peppermint-mocha scented candle and suddenly she breaks out into hives and runs out, stabbing an EpiPen into her thigh. She hasn’t been back in four days, so she probably won’t mind you borrowing $20 from her nightstand to cover the Winter Candy Apple 3-wick you picked up.
8. You’re Trying to Get Past That Incident When You Fell Into a Firepit Last December
Deep down, it’s important to acknowledge the psychologically scarring event that occurred last Christmas when you drunkenly fell into a burning fire pit. Light these candles to forget. Even though you had to spend a great big chunk of your savings on burn cream and a dermatologist, find a way to let these waxy jars of “Autumn Leaves on a Crisp Evening” soothe you and bring you peace.
If spending enough on candles to pay off your impending student loans makes you happy then don’t be afraid to do it. College life can be hard, stressful and taxing, but so is a world without candles. Don’t be scared to do something for you.