Woman Who Rejected Man Goes From Beautiful to Fugly Slut in 2.8 Seconds!

It’s a wicked world of dating in the 21st century for most college-aged students with dating apps and awkward house parties being just some of the ways to meet the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes of Tallahassee. But, it can be incredibly hard to put yourself out there as a lady, especially when you think you’re hitting it off with a cool guy and it turns out he’s only touching your waist so he can move you out of his way and order himself another whiskey soda. It’s pretty often that a girl gets left on read and moves on, so when a below average lookin’ fella approaches a lady with hopes of a "hit and quit," and is left with a quiet, “sorry, not interested,” the only appropriate response from him would be a, “you’re not even a 6, bitch.”

“This dude just told me I was beautiful and asked if I wanted to leave the bar with him and I politely declined his offer. Then, he called me a 'fugly slut' before I could even get two steps away from him. How’d he change his mind so fast? Am I beautiful or a fugly slut? I need answers,” said sophomore and philosophy major, Emmeline Hawkins, as she swiped left on a man wearing camo and holding a dead turkey in one of his Tinder profile pictures. “I’ve noticed a trend with guys handling any kind of rejection… they just don’t. It’s like, I’m sorry I’m not into you, John, but I can tell your mom breast fed you until you were nine and your cologne is nauseating.”

“I only hit on her as a joke,” said freshman and fraternity reject John Webster, as he chewed tobacco and spit it into his can of PBR, “I only called her beautiful because I thought she wanted to hear that. My buddies and I play this game, I swear. I’ve never been rejected in my six and a half months of being at FSU, and some girl whose entire wardrobe screams 'I Shop At Goodwill' is not gonna ruin my streak. Plus, she did it in front of my bros. Nahhh, girl. You’d be lucky to get a load of this 8 inch wonder, bitch.” Webster threw his drink to the floor and refused to comment further, tripping over his shoelaces on his way out of the bar.

While interactions between men and women have been happening like this for decades, it only makes sense that the fragile male population at Florida State University would continue to boom. While most women have resorted to passing blame on themselves in times of rejection, most men will never fail to scoff at the women who have rejected them, without considering the fact that they’re probably just a shitty person who doesn’t even know how to make a girl orgasm.