NFL Scouts Rave About How Well Jameis Winston’s Butt Jiggles in Spandex

Former ‘Noles quarterback Jameis Winston turned a lot heads this weekend with a standout performance at the NFL Combine. Winston was near flawless on passing drills, but he mainly had scouts gawking over how great his ass looked in spandex. “Jameis really wowed everyone with his booty today,” said Todd McShay, Scouting Analyst for ESPN. “That Mariota kid also has a great ass, but Jameis’ is built better for a pro-style celebratory butt slap. We’ve seen him take some patty cake slaps from Jimbo, but we want to know if he can handle a Lovie Smith, Rex Ryan, ‘that’ll-hurt-tomorrow’ kind of slap.”

Despite not having played a professional down yet, Winston is already drawing comparisons to other NFL greats with bodacious behinds. “He reminds me of a McNabb, or a Rothlisburger, in that way; my eyes are just naturally drawn to his curves,” said longtime NFL scout Hal Jefferson. “I’d like to see him in some tighter shorts, just to get a better feel for how he handles waistline pressure, but unfortunately the NFL says we can’t force the players to get as naked as I'd like them to be.”

At the Combine, Winston’s ass measured up to 44 inches and recorded 9 total booty claps within a 30-second twerk session. The butt jiggle drill is important because it helps gauge a quarterback’s full ass durability (or A.D.), and if you’re playing for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, your ass is more than likely to get wrecked.