In a move almost as surprising as it is late, FSU’s Student Senate has actually done something and passed a resolution on 4/20 (ayy lmao) that aims to ban headdresses from all FSU-sanctioned events, including football games.
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A normal Saturday for Tallahassee nightlife participants soon turned into an unforgettable experience. The uproar heard at Potbelly’s reflected more than just patrons’ need for a loud and grimy relaxation outlet in their busy lives spent planning their next offensive theme party.
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Local Honors and straight-A student Tracy Clayton is reportedly going places after volunteering to proctor teacher evaluations on the last day of her Organic Chemistry II class late Wednesday afternoon.
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Your mom.
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The ‘90s, baby! The best decade FER SURE. Remember Furbies, Beanie Babies and Nickelodeon? What about your AOL screen names or totally envying Cory and Topanga?
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As finals week rapidly approaches, students are taking advantage of the several stress-relieving amenities Florida State has to offer. Many will be sunbathing on Landis, some will be heading over to the Leach and others will be making their way over to Chili’s for casual dining featuring subpar Tex-Mex cuisine and a prominently located glory hole.
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Whoa, watch out for Josh! Florida State sophomore Joshua Rooney visits the Dirac Starbucks every morning, but unlike the other lonely virgins that congregate at this caffeine source before their 9:30 classes, he’s confident enough to shake his head back and forth when the barista asks if he wants room in his coffee for cream. Wow, this guy fucks!
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In an unsurprising turn of events, Dr. Gillian’s intro level political science class turned into a soapbox speech about how disconnected millennials are.
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With a mere two and a half weeks remaining in the semester, students across campus have begun attempting to calculate their final grade for all of their classes.
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Snapchat’s interactive filters have become a fun new way for college kids to show each other that they would literally rather stare at themselves in a tiny screen than do any amount of homework.
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Following Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant (R) signing a bill into law legalizing discrimination against the LBGTQ+ community, FSU President John Thrasher has jumped on the bandwagon of bigotry and signed his own bill into law, effective immediately: Florida State University employees may now discriminate based on whether they think you’re a fuckin’ nerd.
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Melody Ramirez’s heart skipped a beat early Wednesday afternoon when Dalton Stevens, a guy she had a one night stand with, politely nodded at her when they made eye contact in the Union.
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Listen up, you bright-eyed, bushy-tailed sacks of horse shit, This morning I had to wake up at 9:30 AM and I can confidently say that never in my life have I wanted to cause mass destruction until that very moment.
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Late Monday night, four students were stabbed after staying in a Strozier study room three minutes past when their reservation ended. The altercation began as a simple passive aggressive knock and smile when the clock struck ten but escalated quickly into a knife fight outside of 107F.
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Between thinking it's cool to degrade women, partaking in borderline homoerotic behavior with ‘straight’ friends (#nohomo) and screaming into an echo-chamber of narcissism, frat guys have a busy schedule.
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Dearest friends, followers, hate-readers, super intelligent dogs and my parents probably, My name is Aubrey Burrough and I regret to inform you that today, April 1st 2016, is my last official day as editor-in-chief of the Eggplant….APRIL FOOLS. Haha psych! April Fools again, it totally is my last day.
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After a string of recent incidents across campus, students have put together an entry-level colloquium for students who at any point during their college career have called their professor ‘daddy’ and are desperate to learn where the relationship goes from here.
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Sophomore Samantha Young has vowed never to speak, sing or be curious as to what her butthole looks like ever again in the hopes of never recreating what happened last weekend.
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Presidential candidate and constant receiver/transmitter of static electricity Bernie Sanders recently gave a speech in Portland during which a tiny bird landed on his podium. This was a small, cute incident with no political significance.
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After Delta Gamma capitalized on popular brand Adidas’ logo, the company realized they could increase profits by taking advantage of the free marketing and just changing their name to Delta Gamma.
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