A normal Saturday for Tallahassee nightlife participants soon turned into an unforgettable experience. The uproar heard at Potbelly’s reflected more than just patrons’ need for a loud and grimy relaxation outlet in their busy lives spent planning their next offensive theme party.
Read MoreLocal Honors and straight-A student Tracy Clayton is reportedly going places after volunteering to proctor teacher evaluations on the last day of her Organic Chemistry II class late Wednesday afternoon.
Read MoreAs finals week rapidly approaches, students are taking advantage of the several stress-relieving amenities Florida State has to offer. Many will be sunbathing on Landis, some will be heading over to the Leach and others will be making their way over to Chili’s for casual dining featuring subpar Tex-Mex cuisine and a prominently located glory hole.
Read MoreWhoa, watch out for Josh! Florida State sophomore Joshua Rooney visits the Dirac Starbucks every morning, but unlike the other lonely virgins that congregate at this caffeine source before their 9:30 classes, he’s confident enough to shake his head back and forth when the barista asks if he wants room in his coffee for cream. Wow, this guy fucks!
Read MoreIn an unsurprising turn of events, Dr. Gillian’s intro level political science class turned into a soapbox speech about how disconnected millennials are.
Read MoreBetween thinking it's cool to degrade women, partaking in borderline homoerotic behavior with ‘straight’ friends (#nohomo) and screaming into an echo-chamber of narcissism, frat guys have a busy schedule.
Read MoreAfter a string of recent incidents across campus, students have put together an entry-level colloquium for students who at any point during their college career have called their professor ‘daddy’ and are desperate to learn where the relationship goes from here.
Read MoreSophomore Samantha Young has vowed never to speak, sing or be curious as to what her butthole looks like ever again in the hopes of never recreating what happened last weekend.
Read MoreIn the dog-eat-dog world of southern college fraternity life, the brotherhood forged between white men who get picked based on their alcohol tolerance and student government connections is a sacred one.
Read MoreLost in the commotion of a busy school semester and a spring break chock-full of sinning, many Christian students have completely forgotten about the sacred religious tradition that is Lent.
Read MoreAs Florida State University works to take down the remaining skeleton of the once not-so-great Kellum Hall, students have begun to make a connection between the building’s demolition and the degradation of their own spirits. Both are deteriorating slowly and painfully at the hands of the university.
Read MoreThe voter turnout rate for young adults is staggeringly low. It would appear that millennials would rather “turn up” than “turn out.” However, students who did cast their ballots reported to have their motivations split between performing their civic duty and wanting to feel morally superior to others.
Read MoreEvery four years, the world is given an extra day to go about their average lives. While a handful of unlucky twenty year olds are looking forward to celebrating their fifth birthday, the rest of the world is ready to go about leap day as just another awful day as a human being on a rotting rock spinning through space.
Read MoreFebruary 28th marks the day that sophomore Shane Bennett feels sorta OK again logging onto Facebook for the first time in a few months after the shitstorm that is Dance Marathon hype time.
Read MoreIn preparation for his financial accounting exam the following week, frat king and business major Taz Bradington booked a study room in Strozier Library and told the “five hottest blondes within gawking radius” and some of his brothers to come. Unfortunately, none of the females showed up, causing Brad to cancel the study group and take the anger out on his pledges.
Read MoreComing off the heels of an exceedingly average Valentine's Day, local couple Ted Stroll and Liz Teyger nearly accomplished a feat that had yet to occur since the first week of their relationship. Until disaster struck, it seemed their night out may have actually been free of a knock-down, drag-em out screaming match.
Read MoreThis spring, Meteorology student Marie Combs will graduate after a four-year intensive program at Florida State University. Combs will leave the prestigious program with extensive knowledge in her field and the ability to initiate small talk surrounding just how crazy the weather has been this week in any given situation.
Read MoreFlorida State sophomore Dan Powers is proud to have made it into his second February as a student at Florida State, not only because he’s managed to stay exploratory for this long, but because he’s entering his tenth consecutive month of Denny’s-free dining.
Read MoreDonnatella Moss is a senior at Florida State, and, like all students who have an exploratory major for too long, she is a Psychology major. For some time she has vlogged about unconfirmed conspiracies involving the Psychology department, but now claims she has proof. This morning, she reported an uncomfortable incident that occurred earlier in the day.
Read MoreA new semester is here and Florida State students are returning to Tallahassee well rested and ready to take on the new year. Common resolutions include losing weight, studying more, and trying not to cry oneself to sleep as after experiencing the crushing realization that life is inherently meaningless and nothing matters.
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