Student Motivations for Voting Split Between Civic Duty and Moral Superiority

The voter turnout rate for young adults is staggeringly low. It would appear that millennials would rather “turn up” than “turn out.” However, students who did cast their ballots reported to have their motivations split between performing their civic duty and wanting to feel morally superior to others. “Student votes matter,” said Matthew Yang,  “But what matters more is that I can get an ‘I voted’ sticker afterwards to post on social media to prove how unlazy I was today even though I skipped my class and just e-mailed my teacher a picture of my sticker in the hopes it would count as an excused absence. It does not. I am failing.”

“It’s just so hard to stay informed these days and everyone’s so passionate about their candidate,” said Chelsea Patel, while in line to vote. “People keep on telling me they’re “feeling the Hill” or they’re #Withhim and it’s all very overwhelming. Civic duty, schmivic duty, I’m voting so I can guiltlessly complain all I want if my preferred candidate doesn’t win.”

Knowing social media will be flooded with people exercising their right to brag, Marco Rubio has promised free hand stuff to anyone who will add #Rubio to their Snapchat mirror selfie telling you to go vote and that they think they’re better than you. Sadly, the polls show that not even free butt stuff could help Rubio win the nomination, despite his embarrassing and false assertion that “Florida is Marco Rubio country.”