Discussion Board Due Friday to Give Losers an Excuse
Have your weekend plans taken a turn for the worst as the “chill wine night” pitched earlier changed to a bar-crawl that will eventually just be a bar-hobble? Have no fear! The discussion post due tonight is here! It may be a major nuisance to some, but anxious students everywhere are seizing the opportunity to cancel their plans and feel the rush of telling their friends they have way more work to do than that minimum 250-word count.
English student Jackson Sybel confessed his plan to duck out on his friends with some half-baked excuse as he typed and deleted the first line of his post. “When my teacher said we had our discussion due Friday night, I was positive I’d forget to turn it in on time. But then my roommate made plans for us to go to a keg party, and I just don’t look cute upside down. Really, the discussion post is the reason I get to spare another T-shirt from beer spray-age.” Sybel continued his insight into the discussion post while mindlessly reading the students with profile pic’s responses, and stated, “If I wanted to go out, I definitely could. I just sort of value my equilibrium and would rather drink beer upright…well, I wouldn’t choose beer, but you know. Anyways, these profile pic Canvas kids really do the most; it’ll definitely take all night to come up with a competing post.”
Sybel’s classmate, Anise Caron, who uses her professional headshot as her Canvas profile picture, admitted that she had already turned in her Friday discussion post but enjoyed responding to the people that turn theirs in minutes before midnight to troll them. Caron said, “I turned in my shit on Tuesday. But because my post is always first, approximately one-third of the class has commented on it. I find a sort of euphoric pleasure in pointing out the chronic procrastinators spelling errors and fallacies because it makes me feel powerful. Academics come first. Then God. Then family. If I gave up these posts I’d have to spend way more time with Him, and He’s recently become more clingy than my mom.”
Friday discussion posts have seemingly become the salvation of students everywhere. Whether it be for avoiding plans or giving meaning to an otherwise dull day-to-day, the Canvas comments section is alive and teeming with escapists just trying to feel sane. So before you respond to your peer’s post, consider what’s going on on the other side of that reply box, and add a “great point!” at the beginning of your comment, because trust, they needed that.