“Get off Our Lawn!” Old Men of FSU Want You to Leave the Campus Garden Alone

FSU is home to a variety of organizations looking to make our campus society a little better one small step at a time. Obviously, the first thought would be FSU’s nationally ranked and highly competitive Quidditch team, however, The Eggplant would like to share a message from an unsung hero of the school: Sustainable Campus. Known for their lovely lil’ garden just not close enough to any classes be considered a mainstream space to spend your time on campus, they are unfortunately being faced with some pretty big issues of thievery and vandalism.

“I’m just saying, you can’t just put a jalapeño pepper plant in the middle of campus and expect students to not touch it,” said sophomore exploratory student Aidan Thompson, while flicking around the pocket knife he exclusively uses to cut down fresh produce. “I lack any form of impulse control, so if I see something growing in a healthy and well-cared-for manner, I am obligated to get super drunk off of one Smirnoff Ice and destroy it.” He then took his compact blade to a clump of crushed basil he pulled from his pocket because apparently prematurely ripping them from the sacred ground before wasn’t enough already.

“Please leave the garden alone guys. The plants growing there aren’t even FSU property; they belong to students! They’re just renting the space,” said John Reinhart, a bit of a bleeding heart for all things organic, and an up and coming plant’s rights activist/grandad. “How would you feel if you left your healthy 4-month-old child out overnight only to check on them bright and early the next day to see all of their nails, hair and teeth ripped off and scattered across the ground? That’s what these students have to go through. Except like, with tomatoes, which only sometimes have nails, hair and teeth. Besides that though, yellow peppers and human children are basically equivalent.”

And while we have confirmed that they won’t let you grow anything dank in their rentable plots, this doesn’t make the stealing and damaging of student grown property okay. While it may seem harmless to snag a cherry tomato as a quick snacky snack, that produce belongs to students. If this isn’t enough for you to lay off, whatever harvest is grown in excess is donated by Sustainable Campus to the Food for Thought Pantry. Please respect your campus, its organizations and all of the effort each individual puts in to make our school a lovelier and plant-ier place!

For more information on the work of Sustainable Campus, visit: 

https://sustainablecampus.fsu.edu/get-involved/students/seminole-organic-garden