Legacy Walk Suspiciously Cagey About What Exactly Its Legacy Is.

Legacy Walk, we’ve all spent countless hours on it questioning why that one person has to walk so fast, but have any of us stopped to consider what exactly Legacy Walk’s Legacy is? Could it be something racist? Sports related? Maybe it has something to do with that one time your friend called someone a block of cheese on acid and they declared it “legendary,” who knows? The internet might (but that’s not fun), so TheEggplant investigated the pressing matter itself. 

“Legacy Walk commemorates our academic legacy,” said Hick Bunckhank, PR head at FSU, while visibly shaking. “There is absolutely no chance of any negative history being highlighted by Legacy Walk whatsoever.”  When asked to give more insight into FSU’s academic history, Bunckhank explained “Well, FSU has been around for over a century, and thus has a bit of a complicated and imperf-” before glancing over at a picture of Ron DeSantis on his wall and continuing “Florida State University is proud of its academic history and proud to be a free-speech campus in a free-speech state where I can speak freely. We’re also very proud of how far we’ve come, we’re a top 20 public university!” Despite this interview pushing two hours, The Eggplant received nothing useful and decided to continue its investigation with the student body.

“Oh I know what the Legacy is: Jake,” said Clyde Doyle, an FSU student we found in the bushes on Tuesday morning. “Jake is like fucking insane, everyone’s gonna be talking about what he did for like ever. It was like so cool man that was straight-up theatrical.” Asked to get to the point, Clyde elaborated, “Jake drank like 2 Natty Lights, 3 Michelobs, and 4 shots of tequila…or was it vodka? I don’t remember cause I was like soooo drunk and we had like this suuuuper funny mix up with who was bringing what. Anyways yeah college is crazy man I can’t wait to move out of the dorms next year.” Clyde was unable to finish answering the question as he had an 8 a.m and “had already missed one class this semester.” 

The true legacy of Legacy Walk remains a completely unsolvable mystery. Despite consulting sources up and down the ladder, TheEggplant was unable to put an end to this quandary. This investigation was a fool’s errand, as the only in-depth information on the matter is online and devoid of pictures. It seems the publication’s time has been wasted on investigating this project, and yours by reading our results. We aren’t sorry.