Girl Boss Kamala Harris Takes on First Business Deal as VP With Monat MLM
The evening of November 7th, 2020 was a righteous day in history--our great girl boss matriarch Momala Harris absolutely obliterated the glass ceiling. Oh, and Joe Biden also became President-Elect. Since taking the throne, the head honcho has already started her own woman-powered business deal with Monat, The MLM for Miami girls that didn’t get a bid, building beautiful lives from the Oval Office to the State Penitentiary. MLMs or Multi-Level Marketing (surprisingly not Men Loving Men) are said to be the pyramid scheme that keeps on giving and our queen is ready to make herstory.
“We’re really excited to work with this amazing business and have set out on a mission to inspire, build, and create a better future for moms who wish they had something to do with their savings accounts,” said Kamala Harris through her “Nevertheless She Persisted” mask. “The deal is all about the business and working America towards a productive goal by cooperating with leaders and mentors.” Some may have doubts in the VPs schematic plan given the reputation that MLMs hold, but Queen K has answers. “In life, there are those at the bottom and those at the top. Privilege, pyramid scheme, whatever you want to call it. It doesn’t matter so long as we pave the way to give girls a fight for their fairytale: riding on the impending death of a white man.”
Monica Ortega, certified Monat businesswoman and Francesca’s employee on the side, is more than thrilled to have a woman in the White House. “After RBG, I thought it was all over. I mean, I’m like pretty sure women didn’t even exist before she came to be, so when I saw that Kamala grinded her way to the top by sending working mothers to jail over petty truancy laws and partnered with the bus--sorry, ‘family,’ I knew nothing could stop me from getting that trip to the Bahamas,” Ortega gushed as she waded her way through mountains of hair vitamins in her parent’s basement. “Kamala is just such a role model for the next-gen of boss babes and I am living for it, I even just bought my first pair of Timbs!”
In a world filled with haters, our next Vice President has joined a movement of divas (female versions of hustlers) and accepted her rightful place as their overlord. With this responsibility, she has already scheduled an Instagram live conference for her followers with special appearances by Cardi B, the ghost of Marie Antoinette, and, surprisingly, the male CEO of Monat (true story). With her army in place, there’s nothing this Bo$$ Bitch can’t do.