7 Substances You Put in Your Body Daily That Are Much More Suspect Than Any COVID Vaccine

Vaccines are now promised to be made available to everyone by the first of May, meaning the full force of the long foretold vaccination season is finally upon us. While this may seem like something to celebrate to most, there are some angry moms on Facebook that would beg to disagree. Despite being in the most advanced time in history, some are skeptical of a vaccine created in such a quick timeline, if only they knew how quickly they were conceived. Here are seven heavily used products that deserve much more paranoia than any vaccine.

1. BANG Energy

As efficient as being able to down a solid 300mg of caffeine in one go is, drinking these chemical monstrosities cannot be good for you. No one even knows what the main ingredient “super creatine” even fully consists of. No sugar, no calories, yet a sweet variety of flavors? More like super suspect.

2. Hot Dogs

“No one knows what’s really in it,” said Aunt Kathy on her Facebook wall about the COVID vaccine. Yet, Aunt Kathy and every other American regularly consume cylindrical meat smoothies that are called “hot dogs”. If the government were to give us microchips they would definitely do it with hot dogs instead of the obvious more vaccine route.

3. Any Product From a Pyramid Scheme

Multi-Level Marketing schemes are an older suburban woman’s wet dream. Aunt Kathy paid $300 to become a consultant who thinks she’s a dermatologist, and if I join her team I could be one too while making easy money from home! Keep your Avon and Mary-Kay, I’ll stick to Pfeiffer. 

4. Vaping

Ah yes, the cigarette of our time, electronic smoking. The modern bringer of nicotine addiction and subsequent shorter life span. Anti-Vaxers are scared of the possible unknown long-term side effects of the COVID vaccine, but will smoke a pod a day of mango mystery poison. 

5. Any food creation from TikTok

As we all know, TikTok influencers are much more trustworthy and knowledgeable than those at the FDA, and we have them to thank for quick and easy dishes that no one asked for. Whether it be whipped coffee or a dangerous mix of Pink Whitney that you can “barely taste the alcohol” in, these concoctions are definitely not safe for casual consumption. 

6. Kombucha 

Some love it, some hate it, but no one can deny how weird drinking flavored live bacteria is. It becomes especially suspect when they flavor them things like “clear mind” or “love”. Go Google a picture of the CEO of GT Kombucha and try to say Kombucha is safe to drink ever again.

7. The Filet-O-Fish

Nothing in this world is scarier than the Mcdonald’s Fillet-O-Fish. There is a reason not many fast food places do seafood, the math behind it is definitely cause for question. The Filet-O-Fish claims to be 100% Alaskan Pollock, which only brings more questions rather than answers.