Is This Freshman Boy Planning on Using the Same Hand Towel All Semester?

As February takes its slow-burning start, everyone on campus seems to be getting settled into the new semester. The once chaotic Landis Green has now become a place of peace and rest. The bustling Legacy Walk with missionaries and activists has diminished to a slight lull, and the typical loud screeches emerging from the Robert Manning Strozier Library have now lowered to a quiet mix of murmurs and muffled sobs. Altogether, everything has fallen into place and everybody on campus can feel it. That is, except for one freshman boy in particular, who has become a bit too comfortable in his daily routine.

“I don’t get why it grosses people out. I mean, I shower almost every other day and brush my teeth all the time, so I’m a pretty clean guy,” said Bradley Wilson, a freshman Exploratory major and this month’s “Most Concerning Roommate” of Dorman Hall. “I wash my hands every time I use the bathroom. Well, sometimes if I don’t get any pee on my hands, I just give them a light rinse. Every time I wash my hands, though, I dry them off on my towel. Recently, my roommate got upset with me because I haven’t washed it in a little while, but I don’t get his point. All that ever touches the towel is soap, water, skin, and occasionally some splashed Campbell’s soup if I lose my balance walking the three feet in between my microwave and my desk.”

“Every day, I am tempted to take that gross towel off its command-strip hook and wash it for him, but I forgot to get my flu shot last year. I can’t imagine the amount of bacteria that’s built up on it’s soggy fibers,” said Andrew Collins, Bradley’s former casual high school acquaintance and current roommate. “I’ve seen him blow his nose, wipe his mouth, and clean off the counter with that rag. Don’t listen to him if he tells you anything else - he’s disgusting. It’s not just the towel. He hasn’t taken his trash out in weeks, and we’re within spitting distance of the trash/water fountain section of the hall. I can’t tell you how many empty Velveeta cups there are overflowing onto the floor. Now, I can do nothing but regret how loosely we filled out our roommate agreement.”

Looking forward, there needs to be some sort of education about cleanliness for incoming students. Too many freshman boys have been plagued with absolutely revolting roommates. From not washing sheets to picking up crumbs, there are various aspects of dorm life that can be traumatizing for young men. If something doesn’t change soon, it won’t be long before there will be a revolt of young men fed up with the smell of Hollister body spray and spilled Dr. Pepper cans. And let’s be honest - the “clean” ones can’t even be trusted to lead considering they only wash their sheets every two months.