Virtual Comedy Shows To Bring Back Laugh Track Due To Low Ratings
It’s been a dreary time to be a fan of comedy during the extreme losing streak that is COVID-19. That weirdly-angry white male comedian you like shockingly turned out to be an awful person. “SNL” still isn’t as funny as your dad says it was in the 80s, and The Office is leaving Netflix soon, much to the despair of normies everywhere. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the coronavirus waltzed in and took the one thing keeping you sane: live comedy shows. Rooms full of laughter and joy turned into cold, awkward Zoom calls. Let’s be real--virtual “stand-up” has truly killed the vibes. In searching for innovative ways to save the landscape of professional comedy, comedians have decided to look back on their roots. Fans of shows like “Friends” and “The Big Bang Theory” can rejoice: the almighty laugh track is back!
“We have found that the laughs have just not been coming through clear enough on the Zoom calls. Someone laughs for too long with their mic on and then boom...the entire punchline is lost,” explained Dr. Jhokes, an expert in online comedic science. “We surveyed stand up lovers all over the country, and they all said that virtual shows are just too awkward, so we needed a solution. After months of research in quarantine, the answer has become obvious. Everyone in television thought that canned laughter was dead, but I think they were wrong, and our trials prove me right. This will be the biggest win for comedy since women were allowed in.”
“The whole time I was just thinking ya know, when am I supposed to laugh?” described comedy fan Ben Holt, who self-describes himself as funny in his Tinder bio. “I joined one virtual comedy show, and there were tons of sound delays and awkward pauses. Only some people had their mics unmuted, and everyone was in wildly different settings. It just throws the whole mood off. Decent comedians need good, clean and energetic unified laughter to keep them performing at their best. Those narcissists need constant affirmation and feedback to survive.”
It is possible that the prophetic return of the holy laugh track could lead to a renaissance of comedy unlike anything seen in our time. These laughs could finally be what inspires people to be brave, unmute their mics, and laugh with the track instead of at it. In a time where comedy has recently felt like the Cleveland Browns of the entertainment industry, hope lives on. Oh, and check in on your comedian friends. They’ll die without the attention.