4 Ways To Impress The Cute(ish?) Boy in Your Zoom Class Mid-Lecture

It’s an ordinary Tuesday morning when you erect your spine in a position vaguely perpendicular to your bed to clock into your biweekly Zoom lecture, and there he is. In all his laggy and pixelated glory, it’s the one half decent looking boy in this class (at least among those with their cameras turned on). With so little else going on in your life, you’ve chosen to project all of your pandemic-era pining upon him for the semester. Is it the consistent bedhead you convince yourself is charming? The way he sips his Dunkin? The classic allure of the Jaws poster that hangs in the background over his right shoulder? You don’t care. It’s time to get his attention. 

1. Show him you’re not like other girls.

What you want is to stand out from the 44 other potentially eligible lecture attendees but still maintain a bit of subtlety. While this is technically a pre-lecture strategy, it’s one to stand by; pop into the Zoom lecture with your mic turned on and something quirky or edgy playing in the background. Let him and the other witnesses to your budding romance take in your completely unique but somehow on trend music taste before “noticing” and firmly announcing your error to the class in a light, humorous apology. If you ever end up in a breakout room together, he’ll be sure to mention he doesn’t know any other girls who listen to Tame Impala.

2. Confidence is key.

Keep your middle and index fingers hovering over your space bar for key opportunities to unmute your mic throughout the lecture. Answer discussion questions, make your “here” extra sexy during attendance, and be the first to point out that the sound isn’t working on the video your professor is trying to show the class. Not only will this prove your self-confidence, but if he didn’t know you before, he sure will now (even if it’s as the bitch that never shuts up).

3. Be available.....

Navigating intimacy under socially distant conditions means getting creative with just how we express our desires. With a nifty little post-verbal “hey ;)” you can make your intentions clear as day. You’re probably paying enough attention to him during class to catch him when he does it, so it’s likely you’ll reciprocate by reflex. He’s sure to feel seen (as in, “has she been watching me this whole time?”) and this tactic might buy you a couple extra seconds of him looking at the rectangle with your face in it with mildly startled uncertainty. Fingers crossed that’s enough time for him to fall in love with you.

4. .....but not too available. 

And what’s the cherry on top of this whole operation, you may ask? We recommend completing the duration of the class with one earbud in and one earbud out. It’s like, she’s sorta listening but she’s sorta not? She’s cool? She’s aloof? This move offers you the stylish nonchalance of holding your backpack by only one shoulder strap during a time when you no longer need to bring one to class. He’ll be enticed by your cool girl vibe and wonder what you’re listening to with the other ear (Tame Impala).