Op-ed: Could I Hypothetically Sue the University if I Theoretically Fell Down an Unlit Staircase, Suppositionally?

The Americans with Disability Act passed through the Senate with vast bipartisan support and was signed by George H.W. Bush in 1990. Only 6 freedom-loving senators voted against encroaching on small business freedoms. However, as a disabled person myself this doesn't bother me in the slightest. The ADA is an institution in itself, creating thousands of legal mill jobs and protecting the agency of millions of Americans, and it is not to be trifled with. 

Now, we all need to walk through campus to receive our education. I’d say it’s fair to assume that someone with a disability should be able to walk through our campus safely. So, let’s assume, in a completely hypothetical situation, there was a poorly lit staircase located beside Jenny Murphree hall that my friends and I refer to as, “the Jackass stairs,” let's say that in this situation, I was walking out of my 6 pm class during daylight savings. Now, I’m no astronomer but I believe that would mean it’s dark around that time. If I theoretically had a degenerative eye condition that causes night blindness (choosing a random condition here) I might be likely to fall down an unlit staircase. That would be a shame too, as an unlit staircase might fall under a violation of the almighty ADA.

If I were to fall down this staircase, would I be able to sue, in the most suppositional sense possible? I mean, it’s not like I’d have someone push me down to make the injuries any worse. Nor would I fall down that staircase specifically because there aren’t any good camera angles. I would, however, fall down the stairs due to the University’s negligence to account for legally blind persons such as myself. God forbid my injuries are a little nasty from falling on my accord and I need to sue the University for tens, if not hundreds, of thousands. And can you imagine the emotional damage? Personally, I’d understand someone in that position not being able to come back to a campus anymore. Just the reorganization of one’s life around that one aspect of emotional damage could amount to a lot of financial damage. And that would be a shame, really. 

If I were able to sue, the worst part would be who I’m suing. If it was some small business or something I might be able to shake them down settle for only 20 or 30 thousand. However, this lawsuit is paid for by the same wallet as high-profile police cases and eternal construction projects: the taxpayers’. This means that I could theoretically sue for so much more money and it would, unfortunately, have to come out of the taxpayers’ pockets. 

  I am doing alright right now and don’t feel like an injury with a large payout would be beneficial enough for me at this time, not that it would have any bearing on if and when I fall down any stairs. But to avoid getting to a state where I did feel like such a case would be beneficial, it may make sense for the University to make a few changes. These aren’t demands, just suggestions, but maybe the University could pay for disabled students’ Ubers, just in general. Maybe they can get discounts on on-campus dining or something similar, I don’t know, just something to keep people feeling well-fed enough that they don’t get a little loopy and fall down an unlit staircase and sue. If you have any complaints about these suggestions and feel as if they are too preferential, write to your congressman and ask them to repeal the ADA and see what response you get.