Harley Davidson T-Shirt Purchased From Market Wednesday Found to be An Artifact, You Won’t BELIEVE Its True Price

FSU’s weekly overpriced vintage clothing convention, also known as Market Wednesday, was recently enveloped in a harrowing drama as a Harley Davidson T-shirt was found to be a deeply important artifact in film history, its true price being a shock to many. An unsuspecting student purchased the T-shirt in question from “Tallahassee Vintage” for $45, the second-lowest-priced shirt at the booth. Only to be approached soon after by a group of Hollywood memorabilia collectors, searching for the iconic “pajama shirt” worn to bed by Tim Allen while on the set for the hit movie and holiday classic The Santa Clause.

“I mean, I was shocked. I was between the Harley shirt or a $55 Bud Light T-shirt, and I’m glad I made the choice that I did,” said Vince Pollard, the lucky student who bought the shirt. “I’ve never really done anything important before, so to be in the middle of this is extremely cool for me.” Vince, who had never seen The Santa Clause (Fucking loser!) was still happy to have stumbled upon a piece of memorabilia like this, “I don’t know if I’ll keep it, I mean it was such a great deal regardless so I’m kind of glad to just hold onto it, even if it is a piece of priceless memorabilia.” The Eggplant asked the vintage “curator” how they felt about getting their hands on such an artifact: “We’re just happy to sell affordable and fairly priced clothing to FSU students.” In fact, the shirt itself was lowered in price. “Considering the light distressed aspects of the shirt (large hole on collar and multiple beer stains), we felt that $45 was fair,” said the vintage store’s owner. It was a shock to think that such a piece could end up in the hands of an FSU student.

The SVCCM (Society for Vintage Celebrity Clothing and Memorabilia) was equally as shocked by the revelation, “We heard rumblings that it could be at Market Wednesday, but we didn’t think they’d ACTUALLY have it.” The shirt itself became infamous among the SVCCM community, for being the shirt that Tim Allen would “Sleep and Fuck” in during his time on The Santa Clause. “That explains the stains and holes,” said one member of the SVCCM, “I mean it’s almost an art piece; showing the life lived by a simple piece of vintage fabric, each liquor stain, each hole has a story of its own and I find that kind of beautiful y’know?” The SVCCM has clearly expressed its desire to get its hands on such a precious monument to film history. The Eggplant was even able to contact Tim Allen himself, when asked his thoughts on the Harley shirt debacle he said “What the fuck are you talking about?”

The SVCCM was unsuccessful in acquiring the Harley shirt, after attempting to purchase it from Pollard for its true value, which was about 12 bucks, maybe 10. Despite his shirt not being worth the price he bought it for, Vincent was able to hold his head high knowing his Lightly Distressed Vintage Y2k Baggy Fit Streetwear #depopfamous Harley Davidson T-Shirt was one of many fair-priced items sold at FSU’s market Wednesday.