If you’re looking to have an easy start to your Christian Girl Autumn, then make sure to be cool as a cold brew when whipping out your handy digital demon in the Starby’s drive-thru.

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It’s that time of the night where everyone is starting to couple up to “split Ubers home,” and you’ve got your eye on the prize: the guy you’ve had an unrequited crush on for seven years.

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One of Salley Hall’s newest residents has found an innovative way to stay on top of the cleanliness of both his one microwave-safe bowl and himself: a single bar of Irish Spring soap.

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While many of us tend to block out the horrifyingly cringe experiences of our hormone-charged middle school years, some students are still unable to outrun their demons—because they know how to swim.

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As the first week of school trudges on, students of all social crossroads have had multiple identity crises while trying to achieve the picture-perfect college aesthetic.

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Welcome back to school, HBO subscribers! It’s been a long summer of fun, friends and getting inspired to make some bold stylistic choices - and choices they most certainly are!

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For the umpteenth year in a row, the holiday of Pesach has come at just the wrong time by not coinciding with spring break.

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With the summer months fast approaching, everyone is looking to get their beach bodies ready to inevitably sit on the couch and re-watch like “Mad Men” for the fourth time instead of actually venturing outside.

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While the girl online shopping a row ahead of you in class is still stressing about whether or not that Free People dress would be better in Olive or Blush, her frosted-tipped formal date plans to curate his own headache-inducing ensemble a mere thirty minutes before the main event.

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As another semester has come and gone, some things have stayed the same: the Testing Center continues to look and feel like the third-class floor of the sinking Titanic, FSU is officially a softball school and most importantly, Seminole Dining still doesn’t know the difference between “meatloaf” and “roadkill.”

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For the bored, desperate and ultimately heterosexual, Tinder is a swipe-driven amusement park of The Office quotes and self-proclaimed “entrepreneurs.”

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Students around Tallahassee believed the last of their apartment troubles were finally  solved after they re-signed their leases and got rid of the thrice-daily emails to “Netflix, Chill and Re-sign.”

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Packing for Spring Break is like packing for a trip to the moon: I don’t know what I’ll be doing once I get there or how my weight will be affected, and have no clue as to whether I’ll be anywhere within the sun’s reach.

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After spending countless nights drinking until 3 a.m. and days where we just sat in my dorm room talking smack about the guy down the hall from us, I thought that I knew everything there was to know about my friend.

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Despite the apparent health and safety violations, Spring is characterized by the infamous Seminole Shack Showdown.

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With Spring Break approaching slower than a frat boy “trying” to make a girl orgasm, it’s hard to pay attention in any class that involves a lecture, note-taking or any sort of thinking.

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FSU’s “Beautification” initiative of its ungracefully aging campus is underway, and just as anyone who has seen the first twenty minutes of “The Princess Diaries” should know makeovers need an ugly broad to make pretty.

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As the effects of global warming intensify, steadily drawing nearer the inevitable demise of the human race, many students might be thinking to themselves, “what minute behaviors can I adopt as a cog in the machine of capitalism to make myself feel better about the fate of the planet?”

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Twice a semester, dread looms over Florida State University as the murmurs of tests that weigh 75% of your grade suddenly become a reality.

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