With midterm exams around the corner, everyone seems to be doing everything in their power to avoid studying and being productive members of society.
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It’s a wicked world of dating in the 21st century for most college-aged students with dating apps and awkward house parties being just some of the ways to meet the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes of Tallahassee.
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Much like United Legacy’s dumbfounding How To Get Away With Murder-esque twist in today’s SGA election, a student candidate desperate for traction and last-possible-minute attention has risen from the masses to announce his partyless bid for presidency with a single promise: to fund the makeover of Strozier’s beaten down turnstile system with Dirac Library Finances.
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Paris, London, Rome, Prague – these are just a handful of the glamorous destinations that FSU Senior Brittany Randall could have visited this past weekend, surely creating memories to last a lifetime.
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Unless you're a member of the large number of our campus population that cannot maintain a healthy relationship longer than 72 hours, love is certainly in the air.
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If you have done goofed it like nobody’s business and decided to start dating someone during the period we affectionately like to call “The Pink Danger Zone,” you may be in trouble for the upcoming week.
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Well, you horny little mongrels, it’s that time of year again. The putrid odor of all the people with actual social skills is in the air once again.
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It’s shocking that some Georgia hick would feel more at home in Tallahassee than literally anyone else from Florida, yet with a higher amount of hills than people, and temperatures below freezing, northern Florida seems to be a far greater environmental shift than most Florida kids will encounter in their entire lives.
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A group of freshmen was found yesterday using tactics borrowed from the kid on their floor who thinks he’s a wolf to systemically hunt and consume seniors.
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Every MWF, right in the middle of the lecture, the idiot student who forgot to hit “stop” instead of “snooze” for a random alarm relishes in the crumbs of surly attention from the class.
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This is sad! Alexa, play “Blur.”
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The hallowed institution of Florida State University has always strived to make sure that its students feel safe and welcome no matter where they are on campus -- even though, at any given moment, 90% of the student body still feels like they don't belong.
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Seasoned class Facebook page veterans once again shook their heads in dismay, raising their virtual flags at half mast to commemorate the money lost during the annual syllabus week scams.
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It’s the start of a brand new year, which means there’s no better time to check up on what the planets are cooking up for you this 2019.
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In a surprising turn of events for the man who has spent most of his adult life insisting to various intimate partners that size does not matter, the current administration began what is now tied for the longest government shutdown on record.
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It’s common knowledge that if you're a Florida resident attending FSU, you're guaranteed to have run-ins with some of the worst people imaginable, including those from your own high school.
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As the New Year kicks off, thousands of people are pretending like 2018 never happened as they swear off drinking and spend hundreds on new Lululemon in pursuit of a bikini bod by Spring Break.
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Icebreaker season has reared its ugly head once again and students across the country will be expected to stand in front of a classroom and talk about what they did over break besides lick Cheeto dust off their grimy little paws.
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Due to the trauma that has been the entire year of 2018, it's about time everyone pretends to care about the holiday season through the escape of poorly produced feel-good movies that have no substance whatsoever.
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