Betsy DeVos Visits Tallahassee: A Drinking Game

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Betsy DeVos will visit two schools in Tallahassee today. So naturally, we made a drinking game. As public school students, we assume you are not only allowed but rather encouraged to consume alcohol at the private and charter school campuses she will be visiting. If not then what are they good for? 

  • Take a shot if… DeVos wears a statement necklace from Chico’s
     
  • Chug your IPA when… your elementary education major roommate breaks down into tears at the mention of DeVos
     
  • Shotgun three Four Lokos at once if... DeVos mispronounces ‘Tallahassee’
     
  • Take a dump on the floor when… DeVos only visits a private school and a charter school
     
  • Beat your anthropology professor over the head with a textbook every time… DeVos denounces evolution
     
  • Hum the theme from “Zoey 101” into your roommate’s ear when… DeVos makes sweet, verbal love to the concept of elitist schooling
     
  • Sacrifice your own life if... a grizzly bear ravages the auditorium while DeVos is lecturing
     
  • Finish your drink because… you go to a public university and private schools are for fricken dweebs!
The Eggplant FSU