Madison Social To Begin Serving Nyquil on the Rocks Amidst the Pandemic

In more recent news, Tallahassee, one of the blessed towns to exist directly adjacent to Hell, is beginning the process of fully reopening bars and restaurants, despite the very much ongoing pandemic. FSU students are especially excited about one Michelin star-worthy restaurant opening back up, although no one really remembers it ever closing. The infamous Madison Social welcomes coughing 20-year-olds with pride, yet they hope to wow their smooth brained clients with a new menu item sure to make them shake in their Doc Marten boots: NyQuil (On the Rocks).

“I don’t really see the issue with opening bars back up. We ask everyone to wear a mask while they eat and drink and make out with each other. We even sell cute masks with holes in them so people can drink through straws,” said Sarah Rivers, a new hostess and self-proclaimed Instagram influencer at Madison Social who was kind enough to share a few thoughts on the matter. “NyQuil (On The Rocks) helps protect you from whatever ailment you’ll inevitably contract at our establishment, but that’s not all. Our customers reported that their favorite part of the drink is its color, as the blue medicine filters perfectly on an orange and teal themed Instagram account!” 

“Everyone tells me to be safe, and in most areas of my life, I’m not. But, I’ve been drinking Nyquil, like, thrice a day, and that’s kept me super secure,” said Jacob Kyleson, one of many sickly patrons seated outside the establishment sipping on an icy over-the-counter cocktail. “I kind of wish there was more range, though. Like, it’s blue, so it tastes blue. But what about other colors?” The manager at Madison Social responded to these claims, promising that employees were hard at work testing new flavors and recipes, with Pepto Bismol Bellinis being a fan favorite. 

Overall, mainly positive reviews have flooded Madison Social’s socials. The only downside to this new pandemic-inspired treat seems to be the report of blue lips, much like the iconic Tove Lo album of 2017. Though, it should be noted that anyone who suffered extensive side effects from the drink are far too drowsy to write a review. Let this be a reminder for everyone to stay safe and Corona-free while sipping away on medicinal juice in a packed and dirty little restaurant!