Scientist Inside Little Masa Uncovers Even Smaller Masa

Pull up, roll up, slurp up, and swallow. That’s what every worker inside Little Masa has to say or else their check will, “come up short.” But what do they mean when they say “short”? The anonymous worker darts their eyes across the room as this confession slips their lips. Something smells fishy… and it’s not the sushi. 

“PULL UP, ROLL UP, SLURP UP, AND SWALLOW.” Screams an anonymous Little Masa worker to Dr. Shmith, a local scientist and ex-professor at Florida State University (he hasn’t retired; he was simply fired). He orders shrimp tempura, and classic slutty Philly roll then goes to pump out a huge glob of yum yum sauce into a giant testing bag. “I’m a scientist,” he proclaims confidently, “and I love this shit” he adds hungrily. He stuffs his bag of yum yum sauce into his pants creating a dick print even bigger than his massive brain, which is massive since he is a scientist. Around him, students share giggles whilst stuffing down handfuls of udon, sushi, and rice. The joy in the room is only popped by the giant bubble peaking through in the back kitchen, as well as the people in gas masks and hazmat suits serving sushi on silver platters. To this, Dr. Shmith confesses, “It was a simple Wednesday evening.” The room darkened and a spotlight shone upon the scientist's face, highlighting the horror behind his eyes that now has become his everyday life. 

“I found a tiny fork on my plate and I was, naturally, confused and a little disgusted. I wanted to send my dish back to the front. I’m so cunty like that. Anyway, it was almost closing and there was no one at the cashier’s table. I decided to take a peak in the back. I’m so bad!” Dr. Shmith giggles and squeals at his naughtiness. “So I’m back there, in the kitchen, and hear soft screams coming from the corner. I'm really high so I think I’m hallucinating, but I’m also schizophrenic so who really knows? But guess what, in the corner by the grill there’s a tiny-looking replica of Little Masa. Inside, is what made me trip. I saw little people sitting and eating, like the ones outside. I saw my fat ass poking through the kitchen! Right when I screamed, my tiny ass screamed too!”

That’s right folks, Little Masa contains a gateway to an alternate universe that could bend space-time relativity. Thankfully, Dr. Shmith, a Tallahassee local, has connections with the CIA and secret extra-terrestrial government lab groups who came in to help ease the situation. There has also been a full investigation done in order to discover the location of missing Little Masa workers; apparently, if they were not singing the slightly sensual theme song they would be zapped into the little Little Masa. Inside, workers would be forced to make sushi in an alternate, petite dimension. Therapy has now been provided for survivors, and Little Masa is still hiring! Business has never been better, as people continue to eat and catch a glimpse of the world’s eighth wonder, Even-Smaller-Little-Masa.