5 Reasons Hillary Clinton is Unfit to Be President
SHE’S OLD AS SHIT????? Hillary Clinton is old, like 67 years old right fuckin’ now. If she were elected president she would take office at the age of 69. Um GROSS?? Commander in Chief more like Commander in Queef. Not in my America. What if she dies in office??? That would be nuts and totally plausible. She’d be the second oldest president elected to office next to Ronald Reagan who was also 69 when elected which is not gross like Hillary because with him it’s probably just a coincidence and not a perversion like when women masturbate or eat fast food outside of a sex-charged fast food commercial. Sure, women live longer than men statistically and sure, she’s still 5 years younger than Joe Biden, who at this point may be the only other potential Democratic candidate but he has a P-E-N-I-S, which in the case of most white men acts as a third brain. ((The second being comprised of a combination of each testicle.)) Women, biologically speaking, only have one brain and a compromised one at that with all those hormones going on. If you need clarification on this just ask far more suitable men who have also lost presidential elections such as Mitt Romney (current age 68) or John McCain (current age 78).
YO I HEARD SHE’S A LESBIAN??? Excuse me but how will that affect my family?! You’re absolutely right to be concerned, Brenda it’s gonna fuck your kids up! Having a president who’s even questionably gay will drastically affect the way your kids view their own sexuality. As proven by nobody ever, gayness is hella contagious and we as a nation need to do everything in our power to BUILD A DIKE ((of family values)) to stop the DYKE from taking office in 2016! After all, gayness has never been a factor in any of our leaders’ lives. SURE, the greatest president of all time Abe Lincoln really enjoyed going to the theater and shared beds with many men while his wife was away and has basically been proven to be homosexual but have you seen his beard??? He’s straight as hell! He might as well be holding a craft beer! Straight as FREEDOM, which he gave to all of us like a goddamn legend.
Speaking of her irrelevant personal life, what the fuck is up with Bill!?? Mrs. Clinton is married to Mr. Clinton, also known as Bill Clinton, the guy who “did not have sexual relations with that woman,” Monica Lewinsky while Hilary smiled awkwardly behind him in front of a broken, yet fortunately pre-social media nation. Why in the world would an equally politically ambitious couple choose to NOT get a divorce during an already prevalent sex scandal??? Like for real girl have some self-respect am I right?? It is unfathomable that a president and his first lady might have a marriage grounded in mutual support and could look past each other’s mistakes to benefit each other’s careers! I mean look at the relationship of Frank and Claire Underwood on House of Cards. Frank is gayish and Claire has an affair with that British photographer guy and that sucks and the show gets terrible ratings because of it, right? Case closed. Also, closing thought- Bill Clinton plays the saxophone which is the most adulterous of all jazz instruments as evidenced by Rob Lowe’s steamy sex-driven sax solos in St. Elmo’s Fire so what does THAT tell you about Mrs. Clinton’s marriage?
UMM BITCH KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT FOREIGN AFFAIRS?? Or something i heard on FOX News?? Um I don’t know but she’s fucked up on this one. Also I heard she still like uses Bellsouth or something?? Was that what the email thing was about because that’s pretty messed up, dude. When my significant other asks to go through my phone, I let them, no questions asked -- I don’t use a separate e-mail address like a little BITCH (ok actually I do have one alternate e-mail account that I use for porn website sign-ups but that’s besides the point). Come to think of it I don’t get why we NEED foreign affairs tbh America is the greatest country in the world fuck what Will McAvoy said on The Newsroom! IT'S THE LAND OF THE FREE AND HOME OF THE BRAVE BABY! But yeah I don’t think we really need to associate with other countries anyway like why did Hillary even wanna talk to them so bad? That seems pretty sketchy to me but I guess adultery runs in the marriage. Maybe she should go be president over there if she loves them so much ha ha SWERVE.
HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON HAS 20 LETTERS
9 + 11= 20
9/11
AKA SEPTEMBER 11TH, THE DAY OUR NATION WAS ATTACKED
I THINK THE FACTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES IN THAT HILLARY CLINTON OBVIOUSLY ORCHESTRATED 9/11.
(JUST SAYING THOUGH JEB BUSH HAS 7 LETTERS. YEAH, 7 AS IN LUCKY NUMBER 7 SO THERE IS NO WAY BUSH DID 9/11 JUST TO BE CLEAR.)
