CDU Presents: Lobsters on Landis
With the destruction of the Union came many-a-lost on-campus activity, but one student-run organization has come to the rescue, saving those wandering freshmen looking to impress their friends from high school visiting for the weekend. Club Downunder is notorious for hosting quirky events all over campus, each coming with its own passport stamp card and maybe a free t-shirt if attendees are lucky. One of the most popular of the organization’s new venues is Landis Green: home of picketing Christians, guys who think they look hot while playing frisbee and, most recently, lobsters.
“This is the biggest event we’ve put on all year. With 400 people marked as ‘interested’ on the Facebook event page, we are fully prepared to provide a whopping seven lobsters for people to basically just mess with,” said Sage Watson as she smoked out of an antique pipe and set up a Kahoot for lobster related trivia. “There’s going to be so much for people to do after they give up on waiting in line for an hour and decide to just walk right in. A line for t-shirts, a line for food, a line to sit down in a chair at an arts and crafts table. Lines everywhere!”
“I can’t tell you how excited I am to be bringing real-life lobsters to Landis. I’ve been trying to book them for months,” said planning manager Skylar Jive as he pierced his own nose and set up the one iPad that would be used to sign in all attendees that night. “Gaines Street Pies is providing vegan lobsters, along with the regular ones that will actually just be running loose on the quad. There’s only going to be enough free stuff for the first 50 people who show up, but anyone else who comes can always just play tag with the lobsters. That’s probably what I’m most excited about - the lobster tag.”
The lobsters are reported to not have those ‘lil bands around their claws so students with dogs should be prepared to keep them home that day. But for anyone looking to get pinched - and not in a flirty way (we think?) - this is the event of a lifetime. Attendees will have the time of their college careers just standing around vibing with actual real-life lobsters on the grass and not in the water like they’re supposed to be. It’s gonna be a blast!