Canvas Two-Factor Verification To Accept Your Old Poptropica Password
As if any FSU students needed additional stressors to accessing Canvas beyond the prospect of seeing their grades, FSU has introduced two-factor verification. Sure, the measure will keep your account extra secure so no one can see the hundreds of unopened messages from professors in your inbox, and if your phone’s been a little dry lately, selecting verification via text code might give you the notification-induced serotonin you’re craving. But mostly, it’ll probably just annoy you enough to decide checking the homework isn’t worth it. However, with a new, nostalgic amendment to the system, 2FA hopes to verify your identity by connecting to the depths of your 10-year-old Dell desktop.
“I’ve actually been using the same password for basically everything since I was, like, 8, so it was a pretty intuitive switch,” said sophomore and former Poptropica aficionado Kelly Baker, adjusting the Silly Bandz adorning her ankle. “Goldfish01! Meets the requirements for most sites. Sometimes I throw in a punctuation or special character. It just depends. But typing it in with the thought of my old Poptropica account in mind really took me somewhere.- To Shark Tooth Island, actually. It all came back to me–flying over the water in that big yellow hot air balloon, the salty ambience of the Coconut Cafe. It was like I was there. But, eventually Canvas processed my log-in and I was pulled back down to earth by my 71 in Microeconomics.”
“What we’re trying to do here is tap into deeper, truer parts of the user consciousness,” explained amateur palm reader and FSU ITS Service Desk operator Sal Benson. “The goal here is security, and few things could be more untapped than your elementary school psyche. Hear me out: for most of us, our Poptropica days were probably the last times our brains were unpolluted by drugs, alcohol, EDM, seasons 7 and 8 of Game of Thrones, et cetera. If you think about it, your Poptropica avatar–your “Poptropican,” if you will–might be the purest lasting representation of you. Thus, that password is probably impenetrable to potential intruders, even if they’ve mastered Spy Island. Get it? It’s funny because, like, security. And spies.”
You can bypass the daily 2FA harassment just a bit by checking the box to be remembered for 30 days, but the memories of life in the times of Poptropica live on. The clack of computer lab keys, checking over your shoulder to make sure your teacher couldn’t see you weren’t on CoolMath.com, choosing between randomized names like “Shaky Comet” and “Loud Star” (to ultimately go with “Spotted Dragon”)–the good old days.