CDU To Organize Coronavirus Vaccine Distribution via Grab and Go Event

Amidst the recent development and distribution of the coronavirus vaccine, FSU students have been in contact with local health departments and the university to find out when and where they can receive their vaccination. Well, we have it here first folks: students can receive their doses of the coronavirus vaccine from our very own Club Downunder at the sickeningly hot new event, “CDU Presents: DIY Herd Immunity”

“We are honored that we were FSU’s second choice to administer the vaccine to students,” said programming director Brandi Burns while applying a thick layer of Glossier’s Balm Dot Com. “The vaccines were originally going to be stored in the beer troughs at Pike and administered by pledges, but after the entire house tested positive, they chose us as their next best option.” Brandi continued, “We’ll be handing out the doses in adorable CDU canvas goody bags, which will also include stickers and an instructional booklet on how to make your own mask out of recycled zines.”

Students are thrilled about the upcoming event. “Yeah I guess I’m pretty pumped about the event. The last time I went to a CDU event I waited in line for 2 hours for one of those purple hats that Aly and AJ ended up selling on Depop for $5, so I’m going to try to pick up a few extra doses and do the same,” said sophomore Caroline Green. “I heard there’s also gonna be a Neutral Milk Hotel cover band and a socially distant face painting station where a staff member will throw paint at your face from six feet away.”

The event will be held on Landis Green this Saturday, and as tradition, supplies will be short and lines will be long. This will probably be the first time in ten months that students will be seeing sunlight after hiding in their dorms 24/7, so this event is guaranteed to be a hit! With all of the chaos that the last year brought us, one thing is certain: If there’s any RSO that could save us from a worldwide pandemic, it’s our Doc Marten wearing, Mitski loving, PBR drinking friends at CDU.