The Union is Finished!
Much to the relief of the entire student body of FSU, construction on the university’s new Oglesby Union is now completed, including a wave of new eateries including Panera Bread, Jamba Juice, and seven new “Mom and Pop’s” hot dog stands inside. It has been over three years since the start of construction in Summer 2018, and current seniors have watched its construction with a watchful eye, as they have never had a proper Union, even as students of a “top” university. Seniors have heard rumors and speculations of a “bowling alley” that once existed, as well as meeting rooms and overall merriment. With the pandemic came a litany of construction challenges and delays, as the foreman and most of the construction workers had to Zoom in for months on end and try to construct the building virtually. The Union, however, is finally and excitingly finished.
Newly minted President McCollugh...or is it...it’s McCullough, not McCollugh...that’s his name...spoke yesterday about his pleasure that the Union is finished, hoping that finally people will know his name and newspapers will write about his early achievements in his tenure as president. “We’re really thrilled to unveil the new Union,” said McCollug--sorry, McCullough. “It’s the summation of three years of hard work. We have a lot of new amenities, but mostly, it’s a post-modern architecture facelift of the original building that gives it a Google HQ vibe. And I think that’s really great.”
Many students had a lot to say about the new building. Most of it is not publishable. One student named Lily Thomas, who passes by the site every day on her way to meteorology school (the ones that text us about tropical storms) said, “I mean, I guess it’s cool. I have no conception of what a Union is or how to use it, since I’m a junior at FSU. Like...we just eat there and hang out? But we can’t drink? I’m just struggling to understand how it’s different from Strozier and why I would want to hang out at school after a full day of school.”
The completion of the Union has brought many students happiness, and many students COVID-19, as the building has become a hotspot on campus. Though the university has a carefully worded “expectation” of on-campus mask-wearing, many students say they are tired and use the expression, “got vaxxed, so no mask.” FSU Utilities tweeted yesterday that while the Union is finished, use of the building must halt in order for it to go through a series of inspections. University officials say the building is expected to be done with inspections by mid 2024.