Paint a Pot Wants You to Know It’s Still There
In a resounding effort to improve mental health across campus, student union services have been pushing the agenda of the notorious on campus ‘Paint a Pot.’ The cozy pottery joint has been given the cold shoulder by students since it demolished the beloved ASLC Grindhouse nearly a year ago. Student services seem to be hell driven on the idea that not only is DIY pottery better than espresso, it’s better than sex! While waiting upstairs in the Counseling Center to vent in group therapy, you just may want to glaze a teacup or two with your inner demons.
As soulless ceramic eyes now stare from where delicious mugs of Grindhouse brews once simmered, the ASLC’s newest addition has sat idle for months, waiting. Waiting for students to frolic to its vast collection of petrified animals and culinary pieces to find their inner Picasso amidst the $6.99 beauty of cheap pottery. However, while the rare and few patrons, mainly consisting of stoned fine arts majors or wide-eyed freshman wandering in, the establishment has had surprisingly little success in reversing the tide of bottomless depression currently hitting campus. Some students, however, would like to advocate for just how effective the hobby can be for reflection and meditation.
“Something about taking a brush to the brittle ceramic face of a poodle really does it for me,” says regular ‘pot head’ Ida Bennet, dreamily swirling pink curls onto the ears of a terracotta puppy. “Coming here every week has cut my blood pressure in half and reduced my anger issues astronomically. If people gave this place a chance? Boy, oh, boy. I think we’d all choose love over violence more often.” Ida then turned her finished creation towards us so we could clearly see the message, ‘HAVEN’T LEFT IN TWO MONTHS. TELL MY FAMILY I LOVE THEM’ painted on her poodle’s ass. The moment a beanie-wearing, shaggy bearded pottery employee walked by, she proceeded to paint over the text. This experimental approach was no doubt wonderful evidence of her growth as a potter, well done Ida! Hopefully more will join her in seeing the value of how far a little pot can take you!
Much to the dismay of the students at Florida State, their STDs aren't the only thing begrudgingly sticking around. Paint-a-Pot is here to stay. Instead of fighting the inevitable or pretending the Grindhouse made the ASLC a “cool spot,” hit the kiln and make something to bring home this holiday season that isn't the ugliest white boy you could find at Clyde’s. It doesn't have to be just a gift for mommy, make it a gift for you. At Paint-A-Pot, take time to work out the inner workings of you, Paint-a-Pot was made to be a therapeutic and reflective experience so spend this time to reflect on how weird you are around other people and how you friends dont actually like you, they just keep you around because they like to have something to laugh at. This pottery barn is open to all you animals 24/7 so be sure to swing by and make something for a friend this holiday season. That wasn't a joke, it is open twenty four hours a day, seven days a week; just please make one mug. Please.