Only Valid Halloween Costume of 2020 is Sexy Voting Ballot

The spookiest day of this endlessly spooky year has finally arrived and there couldn’t be a greater distraction from every societal horror that we’ve all been forced to endure. But that doesn’t mean we can drop everything and drink to forget! Take the time this Halloween season to put yourself out there and tell the world beyond your highly confrontational conservative parents that you are here, you are hip and you are ready to vote! It’s time to spice up the horror of this holiday by dragging politics into the mix.

“I’m coming at this election season hard. There’s a way to do slutty, there's a way to do political, and there is a way to do both at the same time. And yes, that way does include using ‘I Voted’ stickers in place of pasties,” said freshman and first time voter Teresa Richards, decked out in fishnets and her completed mail-in voting ballot. “There’s always talk about doing things tastefully to get respect, but if I’ve learned anything at FSU it’s that a thrifted crop top can do the trick just fine.”

“She’s a trooper, taking one for the team. I haven’t left my apartment in over four months, even though classes have only been going on for two. But hey, it’s the youth like her that I truly admire,” said Alexis Windom, who has been filled with regret ever since she chose not to vote in the 2016 election because the candidates were “both equally bad.” “It’s girls like her who are willing to walk around in the 50 degree Tallahassee Halloween weather preaching the good Lord's reminder to double check your voter registration status that are really making America great again.” 

If you plan on going out this Halloween, please do so safely. To those who have already sent in their mail in ballots, thank you hotties, and to those dropping off their ballots or staying trad by voting in person, get it you sexy beasts! There’s nothing more sensual than exercising your right of suffrage. It’s the least you could do, and hey, you can be glamorous while doing it, too. So make sure this Halloween is as fun as it is scary--we’re pretty sure the next few months are going to be nothing short of a horror movie regardless.