Guy With Office Quote in Bio Breaks Tinder Match Record
Almost all of us have tried our hand at the online dating world, and it’s certainly nothing to be embarrassed about! Since FSU students are taking CDC guidelines semi-seriously, they unfortunately will not be able to meet their twin flames at a house party on Airport Drive any time soon. Also missing is the adrenaline rush of locking eyes with their toxic ex in the Tennessee Street McDonald’s after an unforgettable night at The Strip. So, while some are finding their soulmates and possible stalkers on the likes of Hinge and Bumble, FSU student Cameron Neal has made history by breaking the Tinder match record. He’s landed himself about ten thousand matches over the course of a year, and when asked what his secret was he stated, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” -Wayne Gretzky -Michael Scott.” That’s right--he gives all of his “sauce” credit to “The Office” quote in his bio.
Neal is a sophomore pursuing a degree in business management who said he owes his sense of humor, and now love life, to the show that stole the hearts and personalities of himbos everywhere. With his occupation listed as “assistant to the regional manager,” Cameron says he’s not surprised by the success he’s had on Tinder. “I think it’s sus if you haven’t watched ‘The Office’ yet. It’s a fire show. Michael Scott is so blunt and upfront, he’s the G.O.A.T. I relate to him and Jim so much; they’re the boys.” He thinks people who call the show overrated can “go fuck themselves and watch ‘Brooklyn 99’ or something” and is just looking for anyone besides his crazy ex who can “kick back with a White Claw and chill.”
One of Cameron’s matches, Jessica Meyers, whose bio reads “too shy to message first,” was mesmerized by Neal’s captivating profile. “When I saw Cameron’s third picture from Pots with a mysterious spill down his white shirt, I could tell he was a fun guy. Then I read his bio and saw he liked ‘The Office’ and I had to swipe right. It’s the best show ever. My sorority sisters and I binge it on wine nights when it’s not ‘Bachelor’ season,” she said while polishing the fake ‘Dundie’ her Big gave her for having the “skinniest thighs.” “It’s vital to me that any of my potential suitors have seen ‘The Office.’ How am I supposed to be with someone who doesn’t get what I mean when I say, ‘Boom, roasted’? I never met up with Cameron, but we had a good conversation about the Scott’s Tots episode before he ghosted me on Snap.”
Tinder is experiencing an influx of new accounts since the onset of COVID-19. Everyone is looking for that special someone to watch 15-year-old shows while six feet apart on the couch with. Cameron states that he “hasn’t found Pam to his Jim” but is still swiping away. It might not be a shared cigarette in some stranger’s backyard, but it’s better than nothing, which is what you’re currently getting. Go ahead, pull that football player’s senior quote from your high school yearbook and slap it in your bio -- they’re gonna love it, kid.