Your Uncle Who Makes Minimum Wage Wants You To Know Why He’s Scared of Biden’s Tax Plan

There has been a lot of commotion and division over the specifics of Joe Biden’s plans once he takes office as the 46th President of The United States. While Republicans fear a potential push for ‘liberal bullshit’ like ‘equality’ and ‘peace,’ they also fear his plan to raise taxes, which notably will only affect  those who make more than $400,000 a year. Somehow, the middle class is taking this very personally, and your very own Uncle Rick who works at the Busy Bee in Live Oak, Florida wants to let you know exactly why. 

“The way I see it, the Liberals are getting their way. Biden stole this election. It’s all just a pile of fraud. They wanna raise the minimum wage to $25 an hour or something like that,” said Uncle Rick, while pulling his neck gaiter down to take a sip of his XL Polar Pop. “I don’t need the young snowflakes coming in here, taking my job, and raising my gas prices that will eventually run the economy that Mr. Trump built into the ground. Joe and Kamala are feeding us lies.” He paused to dig around in his ear and let out a large sigh. “We’re doing fine here below the poverty line. I don't need any handouts from the left.” 

When asked if he knew that Biden’s plan was to tax only those who earn a salary of $400,000 or more, his reaction was similar to Roy Moore’s spokesman finding out from CNN’s Jake Tapper that you don’t have to swear on the Christian Bible to become an elected official. After buffering, he brushed it off and continued, still persistent in his support of Donald Trump, who does not favor his financial standing. “It doesn’t matter because Trump will run again in 2024. Y'all will see when this country turns socialist. I just hope that the rich people I worship who don’t care about me can survive these hard times.” 

Despite his seemingly lack of reality, we admire his undying hope for the future of this nation. Unsure of where he will channel his hate next, he clocked out and left the Busy Bee with his “make liberals cry again 2020” bumper sticker in full view. Although still missing the point that Donald Trump does not favor the working class in his tax plan, and shares nothing in common with him besides a receding hairline and an annoyingly good sense of humor, he still said his Trump-Pence flag will remain flying from his mobile home. Minimum wage workers for Trump 2024, and trees for deforestation, we suppose!