Gay College Comedian Graduates To Gorgeous Woman Comedienne
Winter brings with her the death of the trees, the flowers, and the tired gender identity of “men.” Fall graduation closes the chapter of many’s run as students while simultaneously shelving the book on those identified as Gay boys for too long. While comedy opens the door for Gay students and stunning graduates to laugh at the cosmic irony of their work, consider a diploma the insane incentive your fav Eggplant writer needs to come out as a Gorgeous Woman Comedienne.
An interview with the Divine Feminine was recorded upon registering for graduation as she frankly had a lot to say. “Why type out the phonetic spelling of a name you didn’t choose? Who’s gonna know if the name they read at graduation is more Femme than the Old World Gaelic roots of your boy name? You aren’t a boy and you’re barely Gae! You deserve an honors title on your diploma that reads: Summa Came Through A Lot of Gender Dysphoria to Get Here. Where is that option on the drop-down?” She then took her break after ushering that fabulous picture of myself with lashes on to the separate Grad ceremony in the College of English.
Tucker Chase, the man in charge of that separate English Grad ceremony admitted his shortcomings upon being asked the details of the College of English’s ritual. “It’s not me, it’s the College that’s been really opinionated and super difficult to deal with. I was only able to get 12 pictures from English students, but honestly some might’ve been sent to spam. I’ll check after I finish this episode of Big Mouth. But maybe just read your favorite book from one of your English classes to your family? It’ll probably be the most use you’ll get out of how expensive we-, I’m sorry I mean, mankind likes to keep education.” Chase sipped his Mountain Dew and returned to laughing at the personified penises in the children’s cartoon show.
Change is natural and change is vital and although one Gay man’s self may hibernate until global warming drowns him for good, the Venus self emerges from the foam stubble free because laser-hair removal is a great graduation gift. One thing I have learned at college is that there is importance in how we are perceived and how we present ourselves, so maybe compliment that peer on their highlight, even if it is through a blurred camera screen. Express how much you like someone’s mask, they will smile back with their eyes (have we not learned from Tyra?). And treat one another with love. There is no place on campus or in virtual school for hatred or fear. If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, ask. And lastly, if any transphobe or queerphobe or person who doesn’t know what a prostate is has something to say to you or your friends, light your candles, say your prayers, and return those curses back to the men that cast them. Love you dolls!