“This Is Just Like the Movies!” Says Girl That Was Treated With Respect Once
As Miley Cyrus once said, “There are good men out there, guys. Don’t give up. You don’t have to be gay. There are good people with dicks out there. You just gotta find them. You just gotta find a dick that’s not a dick, you know what I mean?” Most of us can only hope to feel like that about a guy named Cody, but for now ordinary girls around the world are settling for dudes that “forgot their wallet at home” and “didn’t think this was a date.” But one lucky girl had her dreams come true when a local boy opened the Chili’s door for her just like Prince Charming, in his finest khaki shorts and wrinkled button down. Someone call Nicholas Sparks because I’m hearing wedding bells on Tennessee Street!
“For the first time ever I’m listening to Taylor Swift songs and relating! I honestly feel like he’s the Joseph Gordon-Levitt to my Zoey Deschanel,” said self-described hopeful romantic Mia Gonzalez while laying on her stomach and kicking her feet back and forth. “No other guy has treated me the way he has, like he literally cleans his room before he picks me up and he even watches the movies I put on without complaining. He’s like the total opposite of my ex that called me a dumb whore for saying I didn’t want to watch Pulp Fiction again.” Even though the two haven’t even officially said they’re dating, Mia and Austin have been publicly spotted at Bento by his roommates so they might as well be hitched!
“We heard her story and LOVED it,” said Olivia Wilde, critically acclaimed film director and more importantly the object of Harry Styles’ affection. “When I heard about this incredible man and the depths of his romanticism I just knew I had to turn it into the straight Call Me By Your Name.” Wilde said she often searches for inspiration from the little people. “There’s just something underwhelmingly beautiful about finding love in Tallahassee, Florida. The roar of surrounding cicadas and the soft glow of dorm room LED lights have blockbuster written all over it!”
So for all you ladies in waiting out there, rest assured the one you’re looking for is coming! One day you’ll look out across your bedroom and cross your cardigan with content at your wonderful boyfriend who just helped you make your bed. It’s these stories that need to be told. They’re real. They’re inspiring. They’re mildly disappointing. But it’s the truth, and what’s more romantic than met expectations. Most could only be so lucky.