FSU’s time as a certified Basketball School™ was thrilling, to say the least. Local ball boys gathered at Township and pinky promised their friends that even though they haven’t ran more than a mile in the past two years, they were once almost scouted for some Division I colleges in high school.
Read MoreFollowing FSU’s shocking win over No. 1 seed Xavier on Sunday night in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, the Seminoles find themselves advancing to the Sweet 16 for the first time since 2011.
Read MoreAfter receiving confirmation from the head of Seminole Athletics and Head Coach Leonard Hamilton himself, FSU professor Jeffrey Roland has officially been promoted from his position as AMH 3310 instructor to starting point guard for the Seminole basketball team.
Read MoreAfter a fortunate win at the hands of someone other than Jimbo Fisher this weekend, the FSU football team has begun its search for Florida State’s Next Top Football Coach.
Read MoreIt’s that time, baby! Now is when the FSU community comes together regardless of sex, gender, race, social class or opinion on cilantro in order to collectively remind UF why we’re superior and they are dumpster babies.
Read MoreWith stress building as the game against Florida State approaches, the University of Florida football team has been acting out in ways even more maniacal than before.
Read MoreIn preparation for Florida’s looming matchup against FSU on Saturday that could potentially secure their first losing season since 1976 2013, Gator athletes and students alike are preparing to embrace a new comparison they can brag about on campus tours and in Reddit comment sections.
Read MoreFor one weekend every year, parents flock to Tallahassee for the opportunity to be bamboozled into buying their children groceries they strategically waited to buy and believing their kid’s life is as glamorous as their Facebook page makes it out to be.
Read MoreIn the wake of the FSU-Miami game, controversy swirls around number 81 Darrell Langham’s peaceful protest.
Read MoreWith the arrival of one of the biggest football games of the season, both Canes and Noles alike are anticipating an exciting day full of heatstroke, overpaying for parking and traumatizing children in the neighboring tents. Despite the palpable rivalry, both sides will be united by a timeless pre-game tradition enjoyed solely while day-drunk and covered in their own vom.
Read MoreOn Sunday morning, as Florida State students marveled at the time they wasted going to Atlanta while worsening traffic in the already congested city, the aftermath of FSU’s season-opener loss ran rampant throughout the football team itself.
Read More“March Madness? Yeah, I'm already experiencing it.” This was the response given by FSU sophomore (senior by credit) and proud STEM major Irwin Schmeinstein when asked by a friend if he was following the annual NCAA basketball championship.
Read MoreLast Thursday, when many aging undergraduate students could take ease knowing they no longer had to worry about their school's reputation being tarnished by an immature, yet nationally renowned quarterback, there was a disturbance in the Force. Jameis Winston, professional football player and part-time crab thief, spoke in front of a fifth-grade class. After saying a series of sexist remarks that no one condoned but many expected, he decided to throw up a living, breathing demon by the name of Beelzebub.
Read MoreAfter NBA All-Stars battled it out last night in a contest of East versus West, they brought out their pencils, graphing calculators and cameras to go back and forth over a topic which transcends sport: the shape of the planet Earth.
Read MoreAmerica is in a dark place these days. For the second time in four months, the louder, more obnoxious, douchier and Northeasternmost of two contenders came seemingly out of nowhere to achieve victory in a classic American contest.
Read MoreOn Tuesday morning, Tallahassee got to witness a beautiful natural phenomenon. The rarely-observed FSU basketball fan was observed wandering about aimlessly in Lucky’s Market, confounded by his new surroundings.
Read MoreThe entire city of Tallahassee was in jubilation on Saturday evening following Florida State’s resounding 31-13 victory over its hated rival from Gainesville and Daddy Fisher planting a fat smooch on the forehead of Dalvin Cook like a proud quarterback on his cheerleader girlfriend.
Read More“Kinky, kinky, bababooey!” breathed Jimbo Fisher quietly into his headset while flaring his nostrils and gritting his teeth. Having gotten close to the second half without scoring, Jimbo allowed himself some sweet relief with a field goal before halftime.
Read MoreAnd you thought Saturday was all bad! Even though the ‘Noles experienced a crushing second loss to an unranked North Carolina team, a new report has emerged providing what might just be the feel-good story of the year. Players from both teams have come forward to explain that UNC took their final place kick in order to show Ricky Aguayo what a field goal looked like.
Read MoreAn FSU source told the producers of Showtime’s “A Season With” that the QB race is actually just starting to heat up.
Read More
