Girl at Party Loves to Gossip About Herself
We all know that one girl who can’t contain herself when it comes to a juicy secret. All night long you’ll find her whispering to strangers about the guy she’s secretly boning or the dirty deets of her latest breakup. Every time the tea gets spilled, you wonder if she will ever keep her huge mouth shut long enough to swallow her grapefruit TRULY. You’ll be shocked and vaguely appalled to hear too much about her personal life, not expecting to get a second-by-second retelling of what happened during her conversation with her hot T.A., but you’ll still support her. Who’s this girl at the party, you wonder? Well, she’s a lot closer to you than you might think.
“I can just tell everyone is wondering what secret I’m holding in. It feels wrong to keep my personal life hidden from my close-ish friends,” said Kara Hersch, junior Media Communications major and FSU Library Social Media intern, while posting a partial nude on her Close Friends story. “I mean, I’m majoring in communications, so I guess you could say I’m both a people person and an expert at disseminating information. I wouldn’t go around spreading gossip about my friends unless it involved me, though. When the party needs a little spark, I just pull a friend aside and tell her about kissing my ex, and then I feel better. I need to give the people what they want, and that’s every detail about my sex life.”
“I just met that drunk girl, and now I feel like I could take on her identity without anyone even noticing,” said Brittney Bevis, freshman Exploratory major and lost soul. “I was just minding my own business when she stumbled over to me, pointed to a guy across the yard and said, ‘I lost my virginity to him.’ Then she went on and on about her journey to losing 20 pounds and her struggle with gender roles within her SGA party. I don’t know man. But good for her, I guess. I can’t wait for the day that I have enough going on in my life to be able to stir the pot about my own questionable actions.”
Not every girl is like this. In fact, most people actually respect their own privacy and don’t feel the need to overshare about their lives, but not this girl. It’s not a fun party until someone stirs the pot, so it might as well be the person with the tea bag to get it started. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re gossiping about your exciting life at a party, keep on babbling, baby. The world wants to know your secrets, and this is far more effective than vaguely tweeting when you’re drunk and alone in your room post-party.