Christian Roommate Has Dad to Thank for Endless Topic of Conversation

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning to be waking up to the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls and echoes of prayer from the bedroom down the hall. That’s right, your Christian roommate is home from church, and you’re grateful to hear her reciting Samuel 10:7 this early in the morning. Whether she’s gathering her bible study group or cooking up another baked chicken dish, you can only thank one Lord and Savior for not hearing about her dad... yet. For a goody two shoes, it’s no surprise that Madi Lawrence loves to talk all about her dad and all the fun they have when they’re together. Trust us, it’s not weird, though.

“My dad and I have a very special relationship. You probably wouldn’t understand it,” said Madi Lawrence, sophomore PR major, while VSCOing her pictures from her daddy-daughter beach trip. “A lot of the other girls from my church brought their dads to the retreat in Panama City, but none of them could beat us in the chicken fight. My dad and I played basketball until I was 19,  and there is so much to say about him. I feel it’s only right to share his story. He asked my mom to marry him with a single rose and a ticket to Guatemala to go build houses for the kids. How could you not love him so much?”

“It’s really fucking weird how much this chick talks about her dad,” said Lawrence’s roommate’s shirtless boyfriend, Jared Greene, as he watched Tallahassee Live PD on their Munchies-encrusted couch. “I wake up and hear ‘My dad loves this color on me’ or ‘My dad almost died in a fatal car crash but he came back to life thanks to the power of the Holy Spirit.’ Like, shut up, freak! No one cares! My girlfriend wants to tell her she’s a little too obsessed with her old man, but she doesn’t want to seem bitter because she only talks to her dad when her shower drain gets clogged. I think Madi might be able to make more friends outside of her bible study if she could find literally any other topic of conversation.”

We all have been to a party or two where we’ve met a Madi, but of course, she must leave before 10 p.m. to get her nightly FaceTime in with her Pa. It’s a privilege not to be disgusted by men in this lifetime, including your own dad. Any man that even looks in the direction of most women gets an eye roll and a mouthed “perv,” unless they’re hot and trying to get into your pants. Then, you obviously let them in and channel those daddy issues.