Breaking: The Three Girls Looking for a Fourth Roommate on Facebook Are Actually in a Cult
Go on any Facebook class page, and you will find the infestation of roommate ads consuming your feed. While at first glance the posts’ overly-saturated pictures may seem harmless, a darker truth to their motives is beginning to rise to the surface. We spoke to Annie Baker, a sophomore at FSU sharing her brave story on her escape from an attempted-cult initiation by three girls roommate-hunting.
“I knew there was something off when I first saw their post, but I was too desperate for a lease to acknowledge it,” said Baker. “They’re smiling in their pictures, but their eyes were empty of all emotions or thought. Looking back, it gave me the chills.” Baker recounted her close interaction with three girls, Hannah, Casey, and Sarah, who lured her into the Kappa Alpha parking lot after she responded to their post looking to meet up. “They had those creepy smiles again, but this time they just kept chanting ‘DM us! DM us!’ I kept repeating ‘What are you talking about? I already DM’d you guys, that’s why I’m here!’ But they just wouldn’t stop. It was awful.”
Baker, trembling, continued, “Then, after throwing paper cutouts of their Instagram handles at me, they decided it was time to bring me to their leader. They escorted me into this dark room at the back of Lotsa Stone Fired Pizza and had me kneel in front of this shadowy figure. Turns out, it was just a tacky monogram wall decoration and a lease for Redpoint. That’s when I knew: the Tallahassee college rental community had a cult on its hands”. One of the cult members, Hannah Jennings, offered her side of the story. “We love to go out, but also stay in for movie night” and “we are all super clean and school is a top priority.”
Luckily, Baker made it out alive and with a random room assignment at Quantum Apartments. Beware of any and all Facebook posts asking for someone that’s both ‘chill’ and ‘really good at mind control,’ as it might be a trap. Let Baker’s story be a warning to potential renters: when you see the sorority squat pose and any mention of the gym, run in the other direction.