Girl Who Buys Delta 8 THC Pens Weekly Unsure if She Should Trust the Vaccine

With the beginning of a new semester comes new stressors, and in turn, ill-informed students attempting to distract themselves in whatever way possible. Fresh on the market, Delta 8 THC pens seem to be the perfect fix. While the vaccine has been developed for years by esteemed scientists and researchers, some students, while coughing green smoke from their lungs, protest these very safety measures. 

“I heard that Pfizer was FDA approved, but my brain can’t really wrap itself around the idea that a vaccine developed that quickly is safe,” began Ashley Simon, chronic balayage haver and red hat with white lettering supporter. “My mom said it probably isn’t safe, and those people in white lab coats have no clue what they are talking about. Sure, the white man in the Bob Marley shirt who sold me my weed pen may not have FDA approval, but that’s because weed is illegal, kind of, but not really for me.”

“Someone told me Delta 8 was created in some guy’s basement in California and his red LED lights charged the plants in a special way. Weirdly, someone also told me that’s where the new COVID strain came from,” said Adson Longford. Shortly after, he took a drag from his pen and blew it out in an indoor space, then immediately looked around and acted surprised, as if to convince his peers that he hadn’t caused this smoke. “I’m not getting the vaccination because people can’t tell me what to do. Like, how can I pursue the business degree that my dad told me to get, procure the haircut my girlfriend Instagram DMs me a picture of, and listen to all of DONDA because Twitter bullied me into it if I don’t have control over my own body? If that’s not autonomy, I don’t know what is!”

Overall, many seem to see the hypocrisy with young adults spending $80 a week on fake weed products that have existed for about 3 and half days denying a vaccine that is proven to solely lessen your chances of contracting a deadly virus. While most anti-vax teens respond with, “but I don’t wanna” and “waaaaah” when asked to receive a free delicacy provided by their daddy’s healthcare, everyone sees them for what they are: stupid and dumb, and usually ugly.