FSU’s Market Wednesday Welcomes Young Entrepreneurs With New OnlyFans Exhibition

Every Wednesday student organizations set up tables along Legacy Walk, attempting to capture the attention of the student body. Although, recently, there have been complaints of a rapid decline in student involvement with on-campus organizations. "I hold my breath and don't look at them in their eyes when I walk by." Says Chase, a regular FSU dude who's just chill like that. "I feel more guilt-tripped into being involved. We need organizations with star quality." Chase concludes, then runs away in slow motion while blowing air kisses and tripping on his shoelaces. 

Maybe Chase, who's just chill like that, was onto something. The following week a new and progressive organization sent pleasurable shock-waves through Legacy Walk. They call themselves Y.E.D.O.F.: Young Entrepreneurs Doing OnlyFans. To kick off the new addition to Legacy Walk, Miss Killings rode bare-naked on top of Renegade the horse leading a legion of excited and horny students to the OnlyFans table. "I've come to lead all my babies to these lovely, independent, well-endowed, strong queens," said Miss Killings. Members of the organization, Anastasia Cumkovsy, Ivana Horseshtick, and Fred were each excited to welcome supportive faculty to their table. Anastasia Cumkovsy wore all black, latex Balenciaga. Having forgotten her own chair, her adoring man slaves folded themselves into a throne for her to sit upon. To her right sat Ivana Horseshtick who was seen attempting to race Renegade to the Y.E.D.O.F. table, and later got caught up in a deep conversation of neighing and whinnying between herself and members of the FSU Equestrian club. Next to Ivana sat Fred. Fred enjoys spending his free time checking the stock market, day trading, collecting NFTs, pissing, and getting pissed on. "My first experience with my kink occurred during my initiation into a fraternity," Fred begins. "All the other pledges were screaming and crying, but I found comfort within the warmth of the piss. I swallowed a gallon that day and every day since." 

Students began lining up in masses to get a chance to receive complimentary goodie bags from the young entrepreneurs. Inside contains various items including garnet and gold butt plugs and a horse cock-sized dildo entitled The Renegade Ravager. Students were seen excitedly opening their goodie bags and rushing to nearby restrooms to break in their new toys. Even President McCullough waited in the long line to pick up a goodie bag for himself and congratulate the unclothed students on their ambitious endeavors. He had this to say: "These students should be proud of the effect they have had on our campus." The entrepreneurs also seemed to have an effect on President McCullough's pants. After his encounter with the organization, he was seen taking the Legacy Walk of shame, awkwardly holding a flier over his pants and slowly shuffling back the way he came.

It was great seeing FSU add more diverse career opportunities to its campus, and become accepting of modern professions. Now every Market Wednesday since hoards of students make their way to Legacy Walk to get involved and get off.