Employee at Taco Bell Who Says “Have a Taco-Mazing Day” Actually a Shell of a Person
No one has played with our heart strings more than Taco Bell recently. First, they sent us on an emotional roller coaster by removing and re-adding the Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes. But now, something much deeper and darker is happening behind the purple gates. Taco Bell has implemented a new catch phrase they are urging employees to use. The new slogan, “Have a taco-mazing day” is actually leaving employees and customers alike in shambles.
“I could see the disparity in his eyes.” Stated traumatized Door Dasher, John Becker. “He opened the drive thru window and I swear I felt a cold breeze. I was stoned out of my mind when he handed me the Baja Blast and Locos Tacos but I think it was his ghost staring back at me. “Have a taco-mazing day” is still ringing in my ears. I haven’t been that traumatized since last Tuesday when my professor randomly called on me on the Zoom while I was sleeping. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it and I never want to go back.”
“The fumes from our new Blue Raspberry Freeze have been getting to my head recently.” Said the shell of an employee himself, Dylan Jackson. “I haven’t felt like myself for months. Now, corporate has us saying all of these cutesy pointless things like “taco-mazing” and “taco-tastic. The employee training for the new policy was torture. They locked us in a room and we couldn’t leave until we correctly mimicked the joy of a Chick Fil A employee,”he said as he fixed his visor with a blank look on his face. “I can’t do it anymore. Day in and day out we have customers complaining about the variations of fizz in their Baja Blast or God forbid I forget their Diablo sauce. But it’s whatever. I’ll give the people what they want with toxic false positivity taco related puns.”
Recent customers recall the buildings looking “a little extra gray” recently. Some even say they can taste less crunch in the taco shell. The company’s new catchphrase is causing the store to be a war zone for gen-z customers with millennial siblings. Employees are feeling personally responsible for “ruining the good vibes.” If these recent reports should teach you anything, remember to check in on your local Taco Bell Employee today.