Local Business Of 30 Years Closes Doors Because They’re Closing For The Night

It’s common knowledge that many small businesses struggled to stay afloat in the wake of the pandemic. Mom-and-pop shops across the country suffered as a result of COVID-19, the laboratory-synthesized bioweapon purposely unleashed upon the world as a means to destroy American democracy. It’s been almost two years since the state of emergency was called off in the U.S., but the unfortunate reality is that small businesses are still reeling from the effects of the COVID-19 deep-state psyop, especially in Tallahassee. One such business is the Chipotle on Tennessee Street. Family-owned and operated for nearly 30 years now, this Chipotle has been a staple of the underground Tallahassee dining scene for what feels like forever. With core values like “Food with Integrity” and “Yeah, Give Him the Brown Lettuce,” Chipotle established itself as a restaurant that could be depended on. Well, it appears those days are over. At 11:00 PM last night, Chipotle closed its doors to the public.

Hal Peters, one of the final customers served this evening, stated “There was an atmosphere of sadness in the restaurant before it finally closed. The workers hardly smiled, and the other customers seemed … empty.” When asked to compare last night with previous experiences at the restaurant, Peters clarified by saying, “Oh, no, no, no. Every night is like that.” When the clock struck 11:00 PM, Peters and the other remaining customers were escorted out of the building, relegated to eating their food in the parking lot. They watched as employees solemnly locked up the establishment while avoiding whatever homeless man was patrolling that evening. “Nobody should have to go through something like this,” Peters added.

One Chipotle employee has a different perspective on the restaurant’s closing. Max Wilson, the employee in charge of giving customers that crusty bottom-of-the-tin rice right before restocking it, has boldly claimed “Chipotle has ruined my life”. Wilson began working at Chipotle in 2011 as a college student just trying to make ends meet. Now, after over a decade of low credit hours and gap years, he’s being laid off. “I gave thirteen years of my goddamn life to this company, and it was all for nothing. They’re letting me go, and they say that there’s ‘nothing they can do.’” Wilson’s manager, a high school student half his age, has gone on record to say that Wilson’s firing has nothing to do with the restaurant’s closing. He’s just really bad at rolling burritos.

With local businesses serving as the backbone of Tallahassee’s college community, it’s sad to see what was once a shining example of the American dream close its doors. All that will remain for customers and employees alike are the memories: filling up a water cup with anything but water, lying about what protein is in the bowl, another homeless man waiting outside, and locking your car as you eat your bowl in front of him. It’s a shame that Chipotle closed its doors last night, but all will be made right this morning when they reopen them again like always.