Jokester Professor Decides to Take Comedy Act on the Road
FSU Anthropology professor Dr. Craig Reynolds has been so inspired by the polite reaction to his recent jokes that he has decided to tour the country doing stand up comedy. In a statement to his class this morning, Dr. Reynolds said “I decided that today, April Fool’s Day, was the perfect day to announce that I will quit my job as professor and become a comedian…just kidding… April Fools…. just kidding… April Fools again! I’m actually gonna do it! You suckers just got double April Fooled, REYNOLDS OUT!”
Despite decades of teaching, a PhD in Human Sciences, and years of only the kiss-asses laughing at his jokes, comedy has always been Dr. Reynolds’ first love. “I always start each semester the same way. On the first day of class I will say ‘Ok now if everyone can take out their syllabus, or as I like to call it: ‘the silly-bus.’ It’s a great joke. It slays every time.”
Dr. Reynolds has spent years creating his comedy routine and he already knows what his opening joke will be. “I’m going to walk on stage with a sheet of paper and start taking attendance of everyone at the comedy club and then eventually I’ll say ‘Bueller….Buelller…’ and no one will answer and it will be hilarious just like in the movie. I use that joke everyday in class and no one laughs, but that’s probably just because they don’t understand the reference.”
Students across campus are just as excited for Dr. Reynolds to leave school and pursue his dream. “He was the worst professor I ever had” said former student Carly Shuman. “One time I went to his office hours to go over a test we had taken more than a month ago. But all he did was show me clips from the Daily Show and then asked if I wanted to see Grown Ups 2 with him that night. When I told him I just wanted to go over the test he said he still hadn’t graded it.”
Ignoring some bad reviews, Craig Reynolds is still planning to take the comedy world by storm. “I want to be the first comedian to use a PowerPoint slideshow as part of my act. I know some great memes that will be a really cool and hip touch.”