KA Brothers Completely Satisfied with Amount of Diversity in Oscar Nominations

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has been the subject of much scrutiny since last week’s announcement of the 2015 Oscar nominations. Many have harshly criticized the Academy for the shocking lack of racial diversity amongst the nominees and its voting members who are 94% white and 76% men. While many people are outraged by this, the Kappa Alpha fraternity at Florida State, John Thrasher’s go to source for rich white males with entitlement issues, is thrilled. “Finally the Academy nominates movies that appeal to someone like me,” said KA brother Jack Taylor, while posting a #WCW picture of Carrie Underwood on Instagram “The only thing I’m upset about is how American Sniper only got nine nominations. How does it get nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay but not Best Original Screenplay? That’s bullshit!” The Kappa Alpha fraternity is already planning to change the theme of their formal to ‘2015 Oscar Nom,’ where participants are encouraged to dress up as a diverse array of nominees like white actor Bradley Cooper or white actress Amy Adams. The celebration will be complete with Clint Eastwood interviews playing on a loop and an entire section of the house where women aren’t allowed.

Meanwhile, the FSU Film School has vocally expressed their displeasure with this year’s nominees, but not for the reason everyone else is. “I can’t believe we have to go another year without one of our students being nominated,” said Film School Dean Reb Braddock. “I mean did you see our black and white commercial with Chief Osceola? That deserves an Oscar way more than fuckin’ Birdman.”

The KA brothers, however, are completely ecstatic for this year’s awards and are extending an open invite to anyone on campus who loves film to watch the big event at their house. “I’ve never been more excited for the Oscars,” said KA president Boone Jacobs. “I mean the only things I saw in theaters this year were American Sniper and the previews before American Sniper, but I still feel pretty good about it. Also, Neil Patrick Harris is hosting. I don’t know anything about him in real life but if he’s anything like his character in How I Met Your Mother then it will be great.”