Student Finally Builds Up the Courage to Go to Professor’s Office Hours

In a move that his mother called “unprecedented”, Florida State sophomore Cody Wilson was able to build up the courage and go to his calculus professor’s office hours on Tuesday. This was a big moment for Wilson, who has always struggled with the idea of getting one-on-one attention from an instructor, despite having barely passed his classes since freshman year. “I’m so used to the idea of just absorbing information while being lectured with hundreds of other kids,” said Wilson, as he mopped sweat off his brow with a Chick-Fil-A napkin and treated himself to a milkshake as a reward for going to his professor’s office. “It was such a weird concept for me to go and actually be able to ask questions to a professor and have them answered directly. None of my classes are less than 150 people, so the only question I’m used to asking is if I can use the bathroom. And now that I think about it, I’m the ONLY person who asks that…”

Although his math professor, Dr. Beckett, acknowledges having met with Wilson, she doesn’t remember it being a particularly productive visit. “I remember him coming in, sitting down, and handing me his TI-83 calculator. I turned it on and then asked him why the screen read ‘8008135’ and he started giggling and asked me repeatedly “do you get it?!” It only went downhill from there. He really should have been more productive, considering this is his third attempt at passing my business calculus class.”

“I’m just so glad it’s over. Now I get to join the elite group of a few dozen students across campus who actually visit their professor’s office hours,” Wilson said with a nervous laugh. “I looked up tutorial videos online beforehand to get an idea of what it would be like, but that actually just made me more confused, nervous and accidentally horny. Maybe it had something to do with all the x’s in the URLs?”