Career Center Advisor Definitely Doesn’t Advise Being a Career Center Advisor

With only two months left until graduation and still no plans or general direction in life, senior Corey Bottles came up with the brilliant idea of heading to the on-campus Career Center. After spending two hours being taught how not to misspell words on a resume and what kind of tie to wear to an interview, Corey received the best advice of all: never become a career advisor. “Here at the Career Center, we try to give the most honest and helpful advice we can, like ‘Don’t major in Religion’ or ‘Never eat at Denny’s,’” said advisor Samantha Hayes while framing another one of her favorite cover letters on the wall of her office. “But at the end, I always look the student dead in the eye so they can see all of my past regrets and know never to become what I have become.”

Thanks to his trip to the Career Center, Corey can now cross one option off his list of jobs he would be interested in, which consists of literally every other job. “I spent four years in college only to be less sure of what I want to do than when I started,” said Bottles, who only now realizes that maybe that one guy he met at a party his freshman year who highly recommended majoring in Sports Management might not have been the best person to take advice from.

“I’m not too worried though,” Bottles says. “It’s perfectly normal for people to have no idea what to do with their lives after they graduate. After all, isn’t that what grad school is for?”